The Fair And A Little Covid

 Wednesday night we ventured to our county's fair, which is known as the world's oldest fair.  It used to be held in September but now has moved to July.  Every year it's the same but we enjoy riding some rides, seeing the animals and grabbing a snack.  They used to have monster truck shows we attended and have famous bands play concerts every night.  My husband and I saw 3 Doors Down there several years ago, in fact, on the night of September 11, 2001.  After a sad day it was very hard to get myself to enjoy the evening knowing what so many were going through.  I'm hoping one year we could take the kids to a concert.  

This is my favorite picture I took from "Goat Mountain."  My husband did a little editing on the color for me.  I'd love to print this one out for framing.  

We saw a lot of livestock, including my daughter's favorite - pigs.  There were even adorable piglets at just a few days old.  

We only had enough tickets for them to ride a few rides.  They wanted about 8 tickets per ride, which is crazy.  

And we can't leave out these adorable sea lions.  We missed the show but had a chance to hang out with them for a few minutes.  

While we were hanging out at the fair my daughter started complaining that her throat hurt.  I thought maybe it was from being around all of the animals.  She does have a little allergy to our guinea pigs.  Later that evening she wasn't getting any better.  The next morning her throat was still sore and she had the sniffles.  I, again, wrote it off as being allergy related.  My kids rarely get sick but they do suffer with allergies a lot.  She has had two weeks of dance workshops and had to go yesterday, the last day and with a show later in the evening she didn't want to miss dance.  After a few hours I got a text from the director that two teachers just tested positive for Covid and everyone was being sent home.  She still wasn't feeling well and to play it safe I had her use one of the at home tests we received in the mail a few months ago.  We were hopeful it would show up negative but ...

I find it incredible that we have made it this long without getting the virus but I guess it's now our time.  She's dealing with a sore throat, sniffles, cough, and a fever that goes up and down.  The poor girl is trapped in her bedroom with her tablet, tons of fluids and trying desperately to rest.  I'm feeling something brewing inside of me but so far it's nothing bad and I am not interested in testing myself yet.  The guys are feeling as good as normal and I hope it stays that way.  I'm trying to keep us all distanced and safe as possible.  When I talked to the nurse on the phone she said there has been a rise in cases lately but it's more like that flu.  So, if you believe in the power of prayer please lift one up for my sweet Brianna.  

It Is What It Is

 I've been feeling very depressed and overwhelmed lately and have been fighting some thoughts I really do not want to have.  My main goal this summer was to search for peace and as I'm learning how to find it I'm also being heavily attacked by the enemy.  Spiritual warfare is a thing!  I want to be there for my parents as needed, I want to be there for my kids as needed, and even my friends.  It's been a very long time since I've hung out with any of my friends.  Have I allowed my kids to take on too many activities?  They enjoy keeping busy and I don't want to keep them from that but I also have to set aside time to be a daughter, a wife, and a friend.  It feels stressful.  I don't want to look back on my life and wish I would have made different choices.  I'm sure I will.  I already think that when I look back on what already was.  It's impossible to please everyone, but I think everyone has already figured that one out by now.  

My dad has been trying to get together with the kids and shoots down every suggestion I make, except this Friday.  This Friday we'll be able to see them.  I feel bad I can't offer more of ourselves to them.  It's no fault of theirs, it's just how life works.  My husband seemed really annoyed with me last night when I resisted his plea for some intimacy and I feel bad saying no but I don't appreciate his reaction to it.  I mean, yeah, it's needed in a marriage but I feel so exhausted by the end of the day and then I feel like that's another person I've disappointed.  

I was hoping for a better summer.  A summer where we would have more free time to be available to those who want our company.  Some free time for family fun and maybe a few vacations, although money seemed to be the culprit with that one.  

I also found out this morning that one of the two biopsies I got at the dermatologist is going to need a Mohs Surgery.  I've lost count on how many Mohs I've already had.  This one will be on the top of my head so it makes me worry if I'll lose some hair follicles in that location.  Nothing a hat or headband can't fix but it still annoying and is adding to my down in the dumps feeling today.  It's scheduled the end of September, which means I'll have to take a day off of work just one month after I start.  

I've been taking my husband to work this week while my car is in the shop.  He works in an area with hilly and windy roads and beautiful scenery.  Today we saw a few deer cross the road and a little Bambi jumping happily through a field.  I wish I was camera ready at that time.  Then I take my daughter to her dance workshop, so far she is really loving dance more than ever this year.  My son and I  hang out at home until she's ready to be picked up but yesterday I took him to the trampoline park.  So, in the midst of the chaos we are finding some ways to have fun.  

We are looking forward to the county fair tonight.  

End of July

Here we are, another week among us.  Four more weeks until another school year begins.  It's amazing how slow and fast these summer days go by.  It's been a laid back summer for me and I'm enjoying the peace but as we're struggling a bit financially without my income I'm ready to get back to work.

Life is growing in my very small garden.  I planted later than usual and didn't go all out with it.  I'm trying to stay out of the sun as much as possible and am waiting to hear back from the dermatologist about two more biopsies.  

Last week my son went to scout camp.  It started rough for him but seemed to have gotten better.  I'm glad he's home and I know he is too.  This was the first year he stayed over without his dad and he stated he likes it better when he's there.  

My daughter has been so excited since finding out she got a solo in this year's competition.  She's been working hard and loves dancing.  It's going to be an exciting dance year for her and Mom and Dad will have an empty bank account because of it.  

I've been struggling a lot lately.  Feeling overwhelmed by a lot that's been going on around me.  The demands of being the only family here in PA for my parents is one thing.  I shared my thoughts on Facebook and it backfired.  I have since decided to just deactivate as I work out my issues on my own.  Social media can be a place where one shares their views and experiences in an attempt to help others in a similar situation.  Apparently, that's not for me.  So, I'll move on and deal with my situations alone and prayerfully.  I know I will get through this, along with everything else going on, it's just been weighing heavily on me lately.  One day at a time.  

Playoffs

 The last post I wrote came from a very dark place.  It's something I'm struggling with right now.  Figuring out how to be there for my parents while raising two very active kids.  After my dad's vulgar response to an email I sent offering to watch my mom while he fishes with a friend made me realize that I need to walk away.  Not entirely, they'll still be in my life, of course.  But I am not going to further worry about what I cannot control, especially when my efforts aren't appreciated.  My focus first and foremost is on my children.  I can see how much they are stressing out over the situation, too.  I won't allow that.  So, I'm taking it day by day and focusing on all my blessings.

Speaking of blessings ...

My son did fantastic in his playoff games.  The team lost the semi-finals and that has to do with errors, the other team being good, and an umpire who was apparently blind.  However, the season is over and I couldn't be more proud of how my guy did.  

Playoff game 1

Semi-finals

This kid plays his heart out and it shows.  Next spring will be on the high school field.  It's hard to imagine my boy, not even five feet tall yet, will be starting high school the end of next month.  I still can't quite accept that.  

Also, tonight he made chicken Alfredo for dinner, one of my favorites.  He's been wanting to cook for us and I'm so proud of him for it.