Life In The Garden

One of the many things I enjoy in summer is planting and maintaining a garden.  I didn't have much of a green thumb until my father came over a few years ago and shared in his knowledge of planting.  He always enjoyed gardening and what's better than having fresh fruits and vegetables all summer long?  I spent the entire morning doing yard work, which including pulling a massive amount of weeds.  If there's one thing I haven't learned it's how to keep those annoying weeds from taking over.  However, spending time in the dirt definitely gave me a chance to have some peace under the burning sunshine and there's something breathtaking about that.  I also discovered that life is starting to bloom.

I can't wait until these tomatoes, peppers and everything else that's planted is ready to pick and enjoy.  I add the tomatoes and peppers to my homemade tomato sauce.  This year I am growing jalapenos, which is one of my husband's favorites.  I'm sure he'll be the only one sinking his teeth into those.

A garden is so much like life.  You've got the bad (the weeds) and the good (the fruits and veggies).  Sometimes we have to mess through the bad before getting to the good.  The digging, the getting messy in dirt, and the pulling weeds is so time consuming but the reward in the end is the best ... and delicious.  I've had a chance to think about a lot while working in the garden today.  I tried having a peaceful conversation with God and just enjoying the moment but I could definitely feel the devil try to seep in.  I started thinking a lot about the past and the mistakes I've made along the way.  The "should of" "could have" "would have" kept coming to mind.  I should have done this when this particular thing happened.  I should not have handled this situation the way I did.  I wish I would have said this to that person when I had the chance.  Those thoughts.  Have you ever had those thoughts?  With those thoughts comes a feeling of depression; something typical for me and maybe the reason why I have those thoughts.  While I was pulling weeds I was going through so many negative thoughts in my head.  Then I spotted the vegetables and fruit starting to grow in the garden and it made me realize that even with the bad comes the good.  I may not have made some good choices in my life but it all lead me to where I am today.  I may have reasons in my life to feel sorrow but I have plenty of reasons to be thankful.  I'm going to try and focus on the many things that are good and bring me joy.  Like these vegetables and fruit that will soon fill the bellies of me and my family.  Life is good. 

Weird

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" -- Dr. Seuss 

The other day someone called me "weird" as if it's a bad thing.  I try not to take the words of others personally and I realize there is truth in the fact that, yes, I am weird.  I've never been someone who wanted to fit in with others.  I always found myself hanging out with people who were also judged as weird and some who were even considered total "outcasts."  That's just who I was.  I enjoy people who are true and genuine, not people who pretend to be something they aren't just so they can be accepted by other people who are pretending to be something they aren't.  If that makes us weird then that's okay, embrace it.  Weird is good.  Normal is boring.

I realize that those who judge me are those who have never taken the time to get to know me.  They don't understand the emotional pain and suffering I have gone through during many years of my life.  The weirdness, the lack of desire to be accepted, the dumb jokes I make, the standing up for things I believe in are just some of the ways I have learned how to cope with my depression.   I also suffer with social anxiety and that makes being in public and around people too difficult to be normal. 

I always tell my kids that you never know what someone else is going through so just be nice.  Even those that seem really put together and happy may be battling something we know nothing about.  So the next time you want to call someone weird, or make any sort of judgement at all ... take the time to get to know them.  Or, just don't say anything at all.  Ever.

Size Doesn't Matter

"Though she be but little, she is fierce" -- William Shakespeare

With a 5'3" mother and a 5'6" father it was no surprise when bringing small statured children into the world.  To be honest, I love them that way and I want them to love it too.  It's not easy to help them feel that their height is normal and okay when they are constantly hearing comments like, "you are the size of a kindergartner (in 4th grade)" and "when are you going to grow?" I don't understand how comments such as these wouldn't constitute as bullying.  It is bullying and because my kids hear these comments it adds a bit more of a challenge to parenting.  I am constantly having conversations with them on what makes being short so wonderful so they understand that it's okay.  I shouldn't have to tell my kids these things.  They should be able to look at themselves as being normal and natural but they don't because of what others say. 

It's wrong to call someone "fat" so why isn't the same applied for referring to someone as "skinny" or "short."  In most cases weight can be controlled but your height is simply just genetic and nothing can be done to change that.  My children are designed as God wants them to be.

We have taught our kids that size doesn't matter and they can do whatever it is they want.  Some things they will have to try a little harder at but they can succeed like anyone else.  I watch how much effort my son puts on the ball field and he is amazing.  I see how graceful my daughter is on stage and she's amazing.  What does size have to do with anything?  Everyone is capable of reaching for the stars ... even if you have to reach a little higher.

Summer Vacation Is Here!

It's been awhile since I found myself being able to take a moment for the blogging world.  I'm sorry for that.  Time moves on fast and life gets busier by the day.  We have now entered into summer vacation, baseball season is ending and my daughter is preparing for her third dance recital.  I sort of enjoyed my first year as a cafeteria lady and it was a wonderful thing to be able to help fill the gaps with my paycheck but let me be honest - I'm thankful for the break.  Stepping away from all the gossip, judgement and bullying by grown ups and having an entire day where I can do whatever I choose is refreshing.  I will be back in the fall but until then I'm going to try and make this summer break worthwhile.

The school year brings us so much chaos and a hectic schedule.  The kids spend their days at school and when I'm not doing my three hours at work I'm at home trying to keep this house in some kind of order.  My husband works a full-time job and when he gets home there's one day a week he's rushing to cub scouts with our son or to baseball practice or a game.  Then I'm off to rush our daughter to dance and this year she took two classes.  My husband will still be working in the summer but I look forward to having the evenings and weekends free from scheduled events and more for relaxing and enjoying one another.

We love sitting outside by the fire just as the sun is going down.  It's a time when we can all be together and relax.   I'm looking forward to many fun adventures and also those moments when we can lay back and enjoy some peace.