My husband and I finally saw the movie I Still Believe, which is a story based on the life of Contemporary Christian singer Jeremy Camp. The movie proves that there can be hope in the midst of tragedy. I have been a fan of Jeremy Camp for twenty years and didn't even have a clue he went through this with his first wife. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It's such a touching story and I was in tears. Lots and lots of tears.
Today I listened to one of our Jeremy Camp CD's on the way to the grocery store and as I listened to the lyrics to this particular song I realized just how much it is needed in this time we are currently facing. I catch myself falling into fear whenever I hear a story on the news, a politician giving hopeless information, or someone I know sharing something so negative on social media. Then I am reminded that God can bring us hope from tragedy. So many are suffering right now because of this pandemic; either because of losing a loved one, going through the sickness, losing a business, not making money to feed the family and fearing what the future will bring, and seeing how our economy is crashing down. I hear the politicians say that we will come out of this stronger and better than ever and I do believe that because I believe that the grace of God will get us there. Hope will meet us at the end of this tragedy. I choose to keep believing it.
"Though the questions still fog up my mind with promises I still seem to bear. Even when answers slowly unwind it's my heart I see You prepare."
I do believe that God can sometimes answer our prayers by performing miracles exactly the way we want but sometimes He can pull miracles out of tragedies. I have definitely seen miracles come out of my own tragic experiences. I do not have a degree in psychology or in theology but have experienced many things in life that gave me an understanding and a belief that good can come from any catastrophe. I've lost, I've suffered, I've ached, and I even came so close to ending my life. This is why I want to be a writer. Fiction writing based on real life situations that will help inspire and encourage others in a way that glorifies God. I always desired to write for the young adult audience because it was those adolescent years that I suffered the most. Out of my forty-one years of life I can say the toughest times were the teenage years. I'm hoping that my writings can inspire older adults as well.
For years I had an idea in my head but when I went to type it was hard getting past a few paragraphs. I didn't know where to lead the story and I couldn't figure out a title. Titles are something I have trouble with, even for my blog posts. Recently a story idea came to me and I excitedly began typing it. Everything was flowing and then suddenly a new idea filled my mind. I was laying in bed and could clearly hear everything the story would tell from beginning to end, the plot, the purpose and even the title. So, the next day I began typing and got through two chapters before hearing something else. Again, same title, similar plot, same idea, a different age and season for the main character. This one sounded so much better than the other two but … UGH! I can't tell you how frustrating this is. Each time it seems as though God is whispering these ideas to me but when I hear something different I wonder why it keeps changing. God is never wrong and He never changes. So, what gives?
I decided to take a step back. Finding the time to write in this current time is hard enough. My kids are home ALL the time and even though my husband is home he's downstairs at the computer working all day. My time is busy either entertaining the kids or cleaning the house. There is no time to be a writer. I discovered a YA author named Kim Chance who does a lot of YouTube vlogs giving tips to writers and I started to watch them while I get things done around the house. She has two books published and is very informative and filled with a ton of advice. I'm taking this time to learn from her and other published authors and seeking God and asking Him where He wants me to go with this. I know there are a few people who are counting on me and encouraging me to get this book written and the last thing I want to do is let them down (one of them is my husband). I'm just not there yet but I STILL BELIEVE in getting it done. Baby steps. And I want to use this blog to help document my journey of getting there, and getting through the writing process.
"The only place I can go is into your arms where I throw to you my feeble prayers in brokenness I can see that this is your will for me. Help me to know You are near."
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