Christmas 2022

 Christmas has come and Christmas has gone.  All of the prepping, planning, and shopping for a holiday that passes with a blink of an eye.  

I didn't get many pictures.   

I was too busy living in the moment.

My kids are growing.  There is still excitement in their twinkling eyes as they wake up EARLY on Christmas morning but the older they get the harder it is to figure out what to buy them, and the more expensive their requests become.  

It was a Christmas where I didn't have to cook.   I didn't stress.  I just let it all flow with a heart focused on Jesus, the true reason for the holiday. 

On Christmas Eve we gathered at my parents house where my older sister and family visited.  It was loud.  Oh, my family seems to only have the loud volume and no regard to the fact my son deals with migraines.  Fortunately, my son made it through okay but I sure spent the evening with a pounding headache and some nausea with it.  I've become adjusted to a more peaceful and quiet life.  Regardless, it's always nice to see family.   

Christmas morning we woke up early to open presents, went to church and then to my sister's-in-law house.  It was a pleasant evening spent with that side.  Much more quieter than the previous day.  

Now the house continues to fill with remnants of Christmas morning.  Opened boxes, pieces of wrapping paper and leftover cookies.  The decorations stay up until after New Years Day.  I'll miss it until next year.  

Here's a picture from the night of Christmas Eve as I was filling the presents under the tree.  Murphy insisted on sitting under the tree, reminding me of who the real gift is. 

I hope you had a peaceful, relaxing Christmas surrounded by the presence of loved ones.  

Happy birthday, Jesus!

Churching From The Laptop

 This morning my husband and daughter went off to church while I stayed home with the boy.  He woke up with a migraine, slept in, woke up and ate some breakfast and took medicine and then back to bed.  These migraines are becoming too frequent and it seems to be a struggle trying to figure out what works best for him.  I believe this physical pain is also affecting him mentally and that worries me.  I've really tried watching what I say and how I approach him and I'm begging my husband to do the same.  So, while they were at church and my son was sleeping I watched the stream from my laptop while wrapping Christmas presents.  My daughter joined in with the junior church to sing a few songs.  

Last night we were at our church for their Living Nativity.  This is the third year they have done it and it's great.  From the birth of Christ to the Resurrection there are different stations set up around the outside of the church.  Even though it was cold and muddy we got through, with the reminder of what Christmas is all about.  

Before church we went to the local minor league baseball stadium where a bunch of local companies had decorative Christmas trees displayed as a competition to see who wins first place.  The winner will receive money to their charity of choice.  So far my husband's company is in first place and will donate their winnings to a local food bank.   It's the Grinch trying to steal Christmas, so nicely done.  

I haven't taken much time to watch all of our favorite Christmas movies yet.  This is one I watched last weekend.  Do you recognize what it is?  It's one of my favorite memories of my childhood, watching it with my mother every year.  My husband and son were teasing me about it but I don't care.  It's a memory of the season I hold dear to my heart.  

Yesterday I did some Christmas shopping and I'm still not finished.  Every year I tell myself I'm going to get all the shopping done early the next year but then that time comes and I find myself scurrying to get everything the Saturday before.  This year I'm feeling much more relaxed about it, knowing the major gifts are purchased and everything else will be bought in time.  On the way to the stores I listened to Christmas music, did not fret about the crazy traffic, nor did it bother me with how crowded the stores were.  I just smiled at everyone that passed by.  It's so easy to get lost in the frustrations of the season but I'm choosing to keep the peace and not allow myself to panic.  It will all go well. 

Icy Day

 

We woke up this morning to freezing rain and icy roads.  A virtual learning day was called for the school district, which also means no work for me.  It's actually been great to have the day off.  My kids were in good spirits as they enjoyed getting their assignments done from home and not having to worry about the issues they face each day in school.  I was happy to be at home where I could devote every second to housework and homemaking and not have to listen to grown women gossiping and making assumptions about others.  It's been delightful.

I also had a chance to whip up this delicious cinnamon coffee cake.  But can I confess something?

It wasn't made from scratch.  

A day like this makes me miss the time when I was a full-time stay-at-home mother with my kids constantly at my side.  Those days are long gone as I'm back to work and my kids are in school.  I need to work as we could use that extra income and my kids need to be in school for the learning and experiences but I'd give anything to go back to how it used to be.  Continuing as a full-time homemaker can now only be a dream.  Let's face it, I'm an introvert.  I don't enjoy being around people.  I also hate not having enough time in the day to focus on the housework.  My health is also going south as I've been pretty lazy when it comes to exercise.  There never seems to be enough time in the day with everything else going on.  

So, I can't have a day like this every day so I'm just going to enjoy today as a much needed gift from Mother Nature.  

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones ...

 But words will never hurt me.

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous sayings from childhood.  Of course words hurt, they can hurt really badly.  I wasn't teased often in school as a child but when someone said something cruel I felt that gripping pain inside my chest and my head told me a lot of things that allowed me to believe in its truth.  Now as a mother, knowing my children are faced with bullies brings it to a different level of pain for me.  I don't like it but I try to teach them to ignore those kids and focus on the beauty they truly possess from God.  My kids are both small for their age and they hear about it all the time from peers.  Yesterday my daughter said as she walks the hallways of middle school the seventh and eighth graders are always commenting on her size.  My son has also heard comments and I'm sure it's even harder for a boy to be small.  

For dance competition, my daughter chose the song "Mean Girls" by Leanna Crawford.  A few years ago we heard it on the radio and she immediately said, "I want to dance to this for a solo."  She was just starting out in competitive dance with a goal of one day performing a solo.  This year when she was picked to do one this was her top choice.  It has meaning to her but I know it has meaning to a lot of others, as well.  

I never could grasp the purpose of bullying but as I get older I'm realizing so much.  Hurt people hurt people.  People who are struggling with their own identity hurt people.  People who have been bullied themselves bully others.  People believe in order to build up their own confidence they have to put others down.  None of it is excusable but it's well understood.  

My daughter was able to showcase her solo performance on stage at this year's winter show.  She did it beautifully.  She proved that the size of a person's body is not what defines us.  She was able to move through each motion with as much grace and flexibility as the taller dancers.  It is with hope that as she performs in this year's competitions that those sitting in the audience will be able to hear the words from the song and take something from it.  Hurtful words are not okay.  

MEAN GIRLS

by Leanna Crawford

Mean girls don't remember what they said

Well, it's funny 'cause I can't seem to forget

Their whispers opened up the door

To a world called insecure

No, mean girls don't remember what they said

Stick and stones may break my bones

But no one ever warned me about words

I smile and I pretend it doesn't hurt

But the older that I get, it just gets worse

Lord, find me and remind me that my worth

Is worth so much more than their words

The little girl inside that picture frame

Was smiling 'cause she never heard of shame

But now mean girls are the reason why

I change my clothes a thousand times

Before I walk out the door

Stick and stones may break my bones

But no one ever warned me about words

I smile and I pretend it doesn't hurt

But the older that I get it just gets worse

Lord, find me and remind me that my worth

Is worth so much more than their words

You say I'm more than their words

So much more than their words

I smile and I pretend it doesn't hurt

But the older that I get it just gets worse

I need to you find me and remind me that my worth

Is worth so much more than their words

Hail To The Redskins ... I mean Commanders

 

There's just something so relaxing about a glowing Christmas tree in the dark evening.   I love it.  We have an artificial pre-lit tree where we can change to either colored or white lights.  Last year I was all about the white but this year the colors are making me happy.  

In other news, yesterday we drove 2.5 hours to watch a Washington Redskins Commanders game.  My husband has loved the team since he was a little boy and now the kids love them too.  I'm not much for football but my son asked me to go along.  Aside from the cold weather and rain it was fun.  

We got to see them unveil Sean Taylor's memorial statue to honor the 15th year of his death.  I remember the day so well as it was when I was preparing to take our little newborn home from the hospital.  We already knew he had been shot just a few days before but as the doctor was removing the staples from my belly the news on the television talked about how he had passed away.  Then later, my husband walked into the room and I hit him with the news.  The look of shock on his face was sad.  It was a bittersweet day as we were welcoming our new life into our home and then learning that the Taylor family was mourning their loss.  The day has significance to us, so I'm glad we were there yesterday, in the presence of Washington fans and Sean's family.  It was special.  As for the statue itself, it was a disappointment.  It's just his uniform on a rack.  No face.  Come on, Washington, you could have done better.  

Did I mention it was cold and rainy?  It was my first in person NFL experience.  I was pretty impressed by how sweet and friendly all the fans were.  Where I live, I'm surrounded by Eagles fans and let's just say they aren't very nice when it comes to football.  So, I've become turned off by any Philadelphia sport.  But I have respect for the fans of Washington.  Even when the team is bad, and that's quite often, they sure are devoted.  

I don't think the girl enjoyed being there so much but she did it for her brother, as it was a continued celebration of his birthday.  Oh, and we won!

Thanksgiving Birthday

 My readers and friends, I hope you had a Thanksgiving filled with blessings, surrounded by loved ones and full bellies.  

I didn't get any photos of our Thanksgiving festivities but I spent my time in the kitchen preparing the meal.  My parents didn't make it because my dad's been sick so it was my sister-in-law and mother-in-law.  I'll spare my feelings on that one but it was an okay day.  Not only was it Thanksgiving for us but my son turned 15.

He said he didn't care about the theme for this year's cake so this was what my talented and oh-so funny husband came up with.  It gave Matthew quite a chuckle.  

To think my oldest is 15 years old is so mind blowing.  These years are going by too fast.  He's been suffering chronic migraines and doesn't enjoy high school.   I know he'd rather stay a little boy but life is all about moving forward.   He hasn't quite hit 5 feet tall yet.  I make small kids and that's okay.  This boy is smarter than I've ever been, is always doing what is right instead of following the crowd, has made great strides in baseball and is very close to becoming an Eagle Scout.   He also got his first job working at a ski resort this winter.  I didn't want him to worry about working but he insisted, and I probably shouldn't stand in the way of his good work ethic.  I'm proud of this boy and very thankful.   Would love if he eased up on that teenage attitude and was nicer to his sister all the time but I guess that's all a part of growing.  

Now that we have gobbled up our Thanksgiving meal, with plenty of leftovers in the fridge, it's time to get started on Christmas decorating. 

I'm feeling the Christmas spirit already and that has been something so needed lately.  The joy, the excitement, the blessing.  I'm ready ... let's go!

The Day Before Thanksgiving

 

What's better than slipping into bed when the sheets have been freshly washed?  I feel like I wake up feeling much more refreshed the morning after.  It's also fun when it's brand new.  We were so desperately in need of a new comforter so last night we went to At Hone and picked up a new set.  I'm really loving it.  I can't wait to give it a try tonight. 

Then tomorrow we wake up to Thanksgiving.   What that's going to look like is up in the air since my son is getting over the flu and my dad is still sick.  I've thought of postponing until the weekend but tomorrow is not just Thanksgiving it's my son's birthday.   

It seems as though so many are sick right now.  A lot of kids have been missing at school.   I overheard a teacher suggest maybe it's time to get the masks back on.  I'm wondering if the reason we are seeing such an increase in illnesses is because for the last two years students were forced to keep the masks on, weakening the immune system.   Now they are back to breathing in those germs.  I'm no scientist so don't flip out on MY view but it's what makes sense to me.  I only hope we never revert back to mandatory masking because my kids were miserable.  

I'm spending our first day of Fall break cleaning the house.  Maybe I'll make a pumpkin roll, my husband loves those.  Since tomorrow is my son's birthday I wanted to separate the Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations.   Eat the turkey for the holiday and then have cake for the birthday.   When my husband said his sister was bringing dessert I wasn't happy.  I mean, who brings dessert to a birthday party?  

Holidays with family has often been frustrating.   Spending time with the people who have harshly judged you over the years is not the most pleasant experience.   It makes the day frustrating but now that I have children the celebrating is all for them.  So, I'll keep myself busy in the kitchen, hide my eye rolls at their rude remarks and just focus on my kids' happy faces.  That's what it means to be an adult, right?

Olay, back to cleaning!

Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving filled with blessings, good food and loved ones.  I am THANKFUL for you!

Sickies

 Last weekend Bri was fighting a fever and sickness.  She missed school on Monday and Tuesday.

Our faithful pug stayed at her side the entire time.  He's always there to comfort in a time of need.  Plus, he loves a good nap.

Then on Friday Matt came home from school feeling very lethargic and not good at all.  I checked his temperature and sure enough he had a fever.  He's been down all weekend.  Since he has a fever today he's going to have to miss school tomorrow.

My father is also sick with the same symptoms but everything he tested for at the doctor came back negative.

'Tis the season, right?  

Making A Difference, Somehow

 Greetings friends!  

It's been quite cold here in Pennsylvania and some parts have already seen snow.  We are also back to Standard Time which means shorter days.  It's quite frustrating when it's pitch black outside and my mind tells me it's time for to get ready for bed but it's only 5pm.  And here in Pennsylvania I'm quite disappointed in the results of the election.   You know, I try really hard to keep the peace and keep myself from speaking anything controversial.   I want to provide a place of encouragement and escape from all of this turmoil but then I realize being silent doesn't help anything.   We are a world that is so broken.  Evil is now considered good and good is evil.  If you don't agree with someone you are labeled some type of name.  We aren't allowed to have our own views especially if they are Conservative ones.  Actress Candace Cameron Bure is getting backlash after saying she wants to keep traditional family values in her new television network.  She's being attacked by Jojo Siwa, who came out of the closet a few years ago.  I mean, if you aren't happy with it change the channel.  No one is being forced to watch it.  I just don't understand it.  

Then noticing the things going on in our school district and across the country in other districts.  Schools are no longer just an educational institute where reading, writing and math is taught.  There are certain things being pushed on these students.  I'm so happy our son keeps an open dialogue with us, telling us the things that go on at the high school.  My husband is strongly considering running for school board and has been closely talking to one of the current members.  He refuses to stay silent anymore.  I know it's good for him to get involved, not just for our own kids but for all kids in the district.  I'm just, however, frustrated with sending my kids to public school.  My dream would be to just homeschool them.  So many families are doing that now and it's working for them.  My husband won't budge on the idea because these kids need the socialization.  They do get it elsewhere with dance, scouts and baseball.  There's other ways they can get it.  And school just isn't what it was when we attended, not even close.  

Lately, I've been thinking of packing my family and moving somewhere off the grid.  Our own land, with our own livestock, working from home and teaching my kids from home.  Does that sound wonderful?  Maybe not practical but with how everything is lately it sounds so great.  I'm just stuck on figuring out what I could do from home and how it would all work.  Oh, to dream!

It hasn't all been bad, though.  My mood has been pretty upbeat lately, in fact.  I've been reminding myself that no matter what happens in this world that God is in control.  He has it all figured out.  Regardless of who we have as governor or president He is the King of Kings.  I've had so many prayers lately that I feel are going unanswered but I know it will all be in His time.  Before I step inside the firehall where we vote I say, "Your Will not mine, Lord."  Nothing has been harder than watching as my son continues to suffer with chronic migraines and it feels those prayers have been ignored but I know God is suffering right along with him.  He cares and He's handling it, even if we might not see His process.  

Well, those are my thoughts!  I've been feeling something nudge at me to no longer stay silent.  I want to help somehow but then wonder how a nobody from south central Pennsylvania could really make a difference.  God placed me on this earth for a purpose and I fear I'm wasting the days away not fulfilling His plan for me.  I'm lost in my own thoughts.   

Let's Have Some Fun

 I've been dealing with high anxiety and a life of chaos lately but I'm not going to dwell on it nor write about it here.  Instead, I'm going to share funny pictures I saw on Instagram yesterday.   

If kids' drawings were the real thing.  I don't know who to properly give credit to but it sure made me chuckle.  

Hello November

 Goodbye October.  It was a tough month of headaches and head colds but we made it.  Halloween has come and gone but the large amount of candy will be here for awhile.  The nights of trick-or-treating for my two are getting closer to being a thing of the past since they are getting older.  For now they still enjoy it.  Dressed as a clown and Belle we took them around the neighborhood through the warm, rainy evening.   

Now we are in November.  I know many are getting ready for Christmas but I'm one who would rather eat the turkey first.  Thanksgiving is still autumn.  Leaves, apple cider, pumpkins, pilgrims and Indians.  Santa shows up at the end of the Thanksgiving parade for a reason.  So, as much as I love all things Christmas I'm going to wait until the end of the month as I traditionally do.

This month is also a big election.   This year we in PA vote for a new governor.   I'm so tired of all the political attack ads.  I'm also sick of the direction this state and our country are going but I'll spare my rant there.  All I can do is hope and pray for God's will to be done.  

Today was the first day of the second marking period for my kids.  They are slowly adjusting to their first year in middle and high school.   I'm struggling to adjust to having a middle and high schooler.  The preteen and teen stages come with a lot of challenges but I am grateful it's not as bad as it could be.  Still, I'm needing patience.  

Hoping for a smooth November.   

Seasons Change

It's amazing how quickly time goes and how different each season of life is!  I often think about each of those seasons that have past, the current one I'm in, and what's yet to come.  Each of those seasons has had plenty of ups and downs.  Lately, I've been finding that the devil is reminding me of all the downs and has made me question a lot of things.  I don't enjoy these thoughts and refuse to allow it to consume me.   Instead, I just want to focus on the good each season of life has brought.   The memories, the lessons.  There's great value in knowing that the experiences I've had created the person I am now.  Am I proud of that person?  No, not entirely!  Do I still have more to learn?  Absolutely.   But I know I'll get there.  

In the meantime, I'm learning to be in the moment.  In the midst of this season, which involves busy schedules and constant chaos, I will cherish it.  It won't be long until my kids are grown and I'll be in a new season.  A quieter, less active one.  One where my house will be clean because I will have the time to give it attention.   A time where I'll be back to a full-time career and enjoying cozier nights and weekends at home.  Lord willing, that will be a future season.  For now, it's rushing from one thing to the next and getting through whatever cleaning I can get done and not flip out about what I can't get to.  When I'm in a new season I'll miss the old one, as is always the case for me.  So, I'm here in this moment and being more intentional.  I'm also striving to find joy in the ordinary and peace in the middle of the chaos.  

10 Miles

 

My son and I ventured early Saturday morning with some of the boy scouts to do a 10-mile hike.  I was feeling confident it wouldn't be as difficult as the 20-mile one we did last spring but I was wrong.  This hike was in a different area with a tougher terrain than the longer hike.  Walking up and down a rocky path was hard on my feet as well as my left knee.  I'm still feeling it.  I was happy to join on the hike, especially knowing these hikes would be impossible for my husband to do for physical reasons.  It was just disappointing to be the only mother along, most fathers weren't there either, just two.  He has two more 10-mile and a 15-mile to complete the hiking merit badge but I'm afraid he'll be on his own for those.  It's the next day and my body is still aching.  

We took a few short breaks and stopped at 5-miles for a lunch break.  I listened as the boys went on and on about video games, history, and football.  All things that are of interest to my son but that boy didn't say one word the entire time.  He didn't even speak to me when I talked to him.  

I don't know why, but Matthew has never been one to join in on conversations with others.  He seems to have anxiety when being around people.  Even lately, when my father asks him a question he will look at me with this fear in his face.  In school he will raise his hand and answer questions and I think he's starting to speak up to his teachers when something is wrong.  He also seems to communicate fine with kids younger than him.  He's small for his age and he also has a speech problem so I wonder if that's his reasoning for not being sociable.  At home he goes on and on and on and I think he's quite funny and very smart.  I don't think anyone would have a problem listening to him talk but he's just afraid to.  This is something I've noticed since he was in preschool but as he's older it seems to be worse and more noticeable.  

I love this kid!  He's smart and has such an interest in history.  Last night he requested that we watch The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.  He's also excellent in math as well as talented with sports and music.  I'm so glad he's the kind of teen who still wants to hang out with his parents and is not one to join in with the crowd.  As I'm typing this he's on his laptop reading out loud all of these unusual and interesting facts.  I am truly proud of him and I know whatever it is he decides to do with his future he's going to excel at.  I just worry so much about his social anxiety and how stressed he makes himself.  When school was back to in person after the Covid shut down he was starting at a new building, the middle school.  It's when masks were required.  It really frustrated him and he was having a hard time wearing a mask and adjusting to the changes.  There was also a problem with his work on the iPad going to the teachers'.  That's when both the migraines and eye tics started.  Now he gets himself so worked up in the morning before school knowing that the loud classes are going to give him headaches.  Then he gets them.  That's not to say these migraines don't start on their own.  Once in awhile, on a weekend, we'll be home hanging out and he'll dim the lights and tell us to keep it down as he buries his head in the pillow.  I often show my frustration but it's not at him, he can't help it, it's because as a mother it's so difficult watching as he's going through something I can't magically fix.  I cry out to God most mornings asking to bring him relief and I wonder if He's listening.  Matthew gets frustrated, believing no one understands what he's going through and yet he doesn't know how much I cry and plead with God over him.  I don't understand why people, especially children, have to go through pain.  The hardest thing is not understanding why my child has to suffer.  

I worry so much about him.  I want him to enjoy his life and I want him to have a successful future.  He's my son, the one who made me a mother.  The one who taught me that love at first sight is real.  The precious baby I spent many nights trying to get to sleep and many days at home playing with and watching him learn new things is now experiencing pain.  Also, seeing how he has developed a serous anxiety when it comes to socializing.  He's a good young man who was given this life with a purpose.  Maybe his current suffering will be something he can utilize in the future.  There are reasons why God allows pain, reasons we may not be able to see in the moment.  I understand that, but still, it's difficult when it's your child.  

I don't always make the best effort when it comes to helping him.  I wonder if I should take him to a different neurologist for a second opinion on how to help, or try cognitive therapy as suggested by his current one.  Do I pull the plug on this idea that sending him to in person school is best and transfer him back to the online charter school he was doing the last few years?   His father and my father have been fussing about the importance of keeping him in person so he learns those social skills but if he hasn't learned them yet and if he continues with these migraines and eye tics maybe learning from the comfort of his home in silence would be of benefit.  I can't seem to get his father to agree and that causes anxiety for me.  

God, heal my son and give me strength and wisdom as we decide what is best and how to help!  I love that boy more than he'll ever know.  

Fun In October

 "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers" 

                                     -- Anne of Green Gables

I'm sure I've already used that quote on my blog in previous years, but it's one that I love from one of my favorite childhood movies.  

This has been a wonderful weekend filled with proud moments and fun family times.  

Yesterday morning I dropped Bri off for her district-wide choral concert which I got to watch at 2pm.  My parents joined.  My son had a double-header, one at 2 and the other at 4.  We made it in time to watch the end of the first game.  

The concert featured the 5th graders, middle and high schoolers and they all did a great job.  What was annoying was the people behind me who talked the entire time.  I don't understand why people insist on talking during a show.  These kids work hard and deserve our attention.  So, please, next time you are attending a recital save your conversating for after.  

Matthew's team won both games and they were the last of the regular season.  In a few weeks start the playoffs.  My poor son continues to deal with migraines and eye tics.  His neurologist started him on a new prescription and I hope it works.  The poor boy missed a day of school last week.  As he's on the field I can see his quick movements of the head as his eyes roll.  It's quite frustrating for him.  The doctor said there is no cure for tics and I've even found that out in my own research.  Hopefully they go away on it's own.

Today we slept in, missing church, yet again.  It was nice to have a morning of just relaxing on the couch sipping coffee and not rushing.  After lunch we decided to play a game of bowling, where I somehow ended up straining my wrist.  Also, I'm not very good at bowling.  

   Then we headed to a local orchard to pick some pumpkins and gourds.  The kids had a blast.  

Having an enjoyable weekend only leads us to dread the week of school and work ahead.  My son already made a comment about how is not looking forward to tomorrow.  I'm not either, if we're being honest.  

44

 

Oh, look at that innocent baby!  The years went by so fast.  This weekend I celebrated my 44th birthday.  It amazes me just how quickly time went by.  It feels like yesterday I was 21, having just graduated from business school.  

The day started early at my son's baseball game followed by another one.  The team lost both but I got treated by seeing my son pitch for two innings.  Pitching isn't something he does often and it was nice the coach let him take a chance.  He's outside every day practicing with his pitch-back net.  Watching him on the mound was the highlight to my day.

My parents came over later and we celebrated with a cake my husband and daughter made.  That girl loves to bake.  It was a delicious red velvet cake with vanilla frosting and a little fondant.  

I was given a new laptop as a gift and I'm typing on it right now.  I'm excited to get back into my writing.  I actually have a few manuscripts started and feeling frustrated as I'm not sure which one to run with first.  It's been a long process.

Today is Columbus Day where me and the kids have a day off.  The day is catching up on cleaning and phone calls.  Maybe a little fun later.

No, I'm not sharing a current picture of me.  I gained weight.  Have scars from skin cancer surgeries.  

I've let myself go.  I can factor in laziness as an excuse to not exercising.  It's also been lack of time and stress.  I want to do better.  I need to.  As I'm quickly approaching middle age it's important that I become serious with taking care of myself.  It's not for vanity but for health.  I keep telling myself I'll start and then I procrastinate.  I'll start tomorrow, then tomorrow comes and ... 

I'm starting today!  

Way To Go #99

 I admit I'm not a die hard Yankees fan.  I don't pay attention to every game and I don't know every player on the team.  But it's the team I cheer for.  Growing up on Long Island it was either the Yankees or Mets.  In my home it was always the Bronx Bombers.  

Last night I only saw the recap and how cool it was to see their outfielder break another record.  Well deserved.  

Pretty cool when we get to live in a moment, a good moment, that will be historic.   One my son can tell his grandchildren he saw when it happened.  

So Rainy

It's been a rainy time here in Pennsylvania since Friday night.   With the catastrophe Hurricane Ian left behind in Florida I'm thankful rain is all we are getting.  My heart breaks for the people down south.   I've watched live updates on Facebook from content creators I have been following and it's so devastating.   

This cold and rainy weather reminds me of when the kids were tiny and I was fully a stay-at-home mom.  We would snuggle under a blanket on the couch and watch a movie while sipping hot chocolate.   I certainly craved a day like that today.  Instead, we all hustled out the door early for school and work.  I ran register and cleaned up after messy elementary kids.  Now it's time for house cleaning, running errands and continuous busyness until later this evening when I can shower, slip into pajamas and slip under the blanket until falling asleep.  

First Day of October

 

That was definitely the case for Pennsylvania.   

I admire the bloggers who have the ability to describe autumn as the most coziest, joyful time of the year.  It truly is a pretty season and it's quite wonderful for those who take appreciation for the cooler temperatures.   Every year at this time my body and mind have trouble adjusting to the temperature change and shorter days.  The other evening I crawled under the covers on the couch and fought the urge to sleep even though I did end up dozing off for a short time.  Our air conditioner has been turned off and we have yet to turn the heat on.  It's the time of year I definitely crave warmth.  Today it's raining outside and I am thankful for no plans aside from housework.

Yesterday we cleared the backyard.  I still have to dig up the garden and that will happen on a dryer day.  I covered the patio couch. 

How depressing this looks.  But I know it won't be long before the hot air comes back and we can uncover it and replant another garden.  

Today, on the 1st of October I'm remembering my grandpa who would have been 99 years old.  In just one week I'll be celebrating my birthday.   The older I get the more appreciative I am about life but the more I miss the time that's gone.  So many of my loved ones have already entered heaven's gates and my own life is just whizzing by.  It's been a bittersweet experiencing watching as my kids are growing up.  The teen years are hard and I often find myself craving to have them little again.  But just like each season of the year, I have to learn to let the past go and grow along with the changes.  It's quite difficult but very much worth it.  

Also, taking a moment to appreciate this old black pug of ours on what I just found out is National Black Dog Day.

They have a day for everything, don't they?

Wishing October blessings apon you, my friend!