It Hasn't Been Easy

 My house is enduring a lot of struggling these days.  My son's adjustment back to in person school isn't going so well.  He's one who easily stresses out and the stress causes migraines.  He complains about a headache every day.  His neurologist isn't much help and I'm getting ready to find a good counselor for  him, hopefully one that can help him navigate through these struggles.  He's also being picked on by some of the students because of his height.  He is small for his age.  I don't understand why that is such a problem.  I have worked hard at teaching both of my kids that their size doesn't matter but it doesn't help when others have to tease them about it.

My daughter also has her struggles with middle school.  She complains that the work is hard and she's also still dealing with the same boys who were giving her a hard time last year.  It's really frustrating and nothing is ever done.  

I loved the charter school my son was working with through middle school.  He loved it too.  I've been doing a lot of praying and asking for direction.  I want my kids to get a good education and be happy while doing so but I also want them to have that normalcy of being surrounded by peers.  But what was once normal is now so different.  Do I really want my kids exposed to everything that goes on in public school?  It's becoming too much.  

Working in an elementary school cafeteria is quite a struggle this year.  The behavior of most of the kids is crazy.  It seems more and more kids are undisciplined at home and, because of it, they have no concern for any discipline received elsewhere.  It's very sad.  Aside from that, it has been extremely busy at work.  So much stress.  Although, I remain grateful to have a job.  I work with an incredible staff who knows how to laugh and joke around even through tough moments.  

In a perfect world, I'd have a job I can do from home while my kids school from home.  I need to work to help out financially.  With my daughter so active in many dance classes the extra money is needed and that's something she wouldn't want to give up.  I think having them at home could open up so many possibilities of things we could do and I also believe it would alleviate so much stress.  But that's not in the cards for us right now so I pray that we can be directed and led to do what is right and what would help.  It's only September and I'm already done with this school year.  

I'm also just struggling with my kids growing up.   I often think of my days at home with them when they were babies and toddlers.  At the time the days felt so long and I struggled through those sleepless nights but I'd give anything to go back.  It felt so much easier than what life brings now.  I miss their innocence.   My son, 14 years old, no longer kisses me goodnight and it's been a very long time since I heard him say he loves me.  I say it to him all the time with no response.   It hurts.  The years are flying by so fast and I'm trying to be intentional with living in the moment but how I long to have those babies back.  

If you believe in prayer we could sure use some sent up for us right now.