Determined

 I don't hear many people talk about what their New Year's resolutions will be for 2026 and maybe that's because we've all reached a point in understanding that the desires we set are most likely going to fade away in a few months anyway.  Even so, I'm feeling determined.  I mean, really determined.  

Determined to set goals and determined to see through to them being accomplished no matter how bored, tired or defeated I may feel.  The years really do go by so fast and it feels like it was just yesterday that the ball dropped on 2025 and now here I am several pounds heavier, nothing completed as planned, and no book yet to be published.  I don't want to feel the same way I do now when 2027 arrives.  I have no excuse for my weight gain other than laziness.  As I work to drop those pounds, it won't be for the sake of vanity but for health (I know, I've said that before, right?).  I also strive to do more with my faith.  Nothing else makes me feel so much joy and peace than when I'm both reading the Bible and praying.  I'm setting goals to do it more.  My son, who is also growing strong in faith, told us he wants to do a family Bible study every week and I think that will be great for all four of us to hold each other accountable.  He also shared a daily devotional on the Bible app that we all will be starting.  Not only do I desire to draw closer to God for myself but this year as a family we will be doing it together.  

I also need to create better organization for my home and purge through all of the things we do not need anymore.  So much is taking up space and I have plans in my head of how to make the house look cleaner, organized and inviting.   

And my book.  Oh, that book!  I have wanted to be a published author for as long as I can remember and here I am at 47 and still scratching the surface of the first draft.  I can blame it on lack of time and lack of motivation.  I can blame it on writer's block.  The needs of my house come first and I cannot even manage through all of that so there's guilt whenever I sit down to write.  But I'm determined.  

And with that being said, I think I just came up with my word for 2026.  

DETERMINED

Every year a word comes to mind that I want to focus on.  In 2025 it was CONTENTMENT and my desire was to find contentment in all that I have in my life.  I may not often show it to others, but in my mind I have learned how to be content with what the Lord has given me but that doesn't mean I have to stop trying to do better.  

My favorite go to chapter in the Bible is Psalm 51 and specifically in the 10th verse:  "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."  Even though this chapter was written by David specifically asking God for forgiveness from his love affair with Bathsheba, I feel it can be used as a reminder for all of us that forgiveness allows us to start over.  That each year that passes can be a perfect time to start over with a clean slate.  Why not?  I don't know about you but I'm determined.  

Happy New Year, my friends!  Thank you for visiting my page and to those of you who leave comments.  I do pray that 2026 brings you and your family an abundance of blessings and that if you set any resolutions/goals that you will find the determination to be consistent with it.  After a special New Years Eve church service I'll be going home and slipping into my pajamas, preparing our traditional junky finger foods and sitting in front of the television waiting for the count down to begin.  

The Christmas Ring by Karen Kingsbury (review)

 One of my goals for the year 2026 is to read more books and hopefully, hopefully, hopefully get the one I've been working on ready for publication - what's taking so long with that is a story all on its own.  I've been getting a head start on my reading goal and already finished one and the next one was this, The Christmas Ring by Karen Kingsbury.  When I saw the movie was on television my husband asked if I wanted to watch it.  I said I'd have to read the book first.  So, to my surprise, on Christmas he gifted me with the book and it took me two days to finish it.  

It isn't a thick book, 185 pages to be exact; not including her acknowledgements and discussion questions at the end.  It was one of those stories that was hard to put down because I wanted to know if the character would ever find the ring she had lost.

The Christmas Ring is a romantic drama about rediscovery and redemption.  Vanessa Mayfield is a military widow who had lost the family heirloom ring that had been passed down since her great-grandfather found it in France while serving in World War II.  During her search, she discovered a cute antique shop where she also met owner, Ben Miller.  The two had an instant connection and became closer through texting, video chatting and eventually dating.  Just as Ben was about to declare his love for Vanessa, he learns more about her missing ring.  Is he able to find it and return it to her?  Well, I can't give away too much detail.  

Karen Kingsbury, a #1 New York Times bestselling novelist, is an inspirational storyteller with almost 100 books published.  She's also a writing professor at Liberty University.  I have not come close to reading all of her books but each one I have read so far holds my attention from beginning to end.  If you are looking for a Christian author who writes fictional stories I highly recommend her.  

For the first time for Karen Kingsbury, the movie had been created before the book.  Starring Jana Kramer, Kelsey Grammer and Benjamin Hollingsworth I'm excited to see how similar the film is to the book.  I'm not a huge fan of the Hallmark movies but this one sparks an interest for me, especially since it's from Kingsbury.  I'm not sure when I'll see the movie but once I do I'll let you know.  Stay tuned.  

As I continue on my reading goals I think it would be fun to write a review on most, if not all of them as it will add a little something different to this blog of mine.  

And Just Like That ...

 Christmas is over!  But we are in full swing of vacation until January 5th and I'm excited for sleeping in, extra relaxing time and being home with my family.  

The in-laws came over on Christmas Eve and I made lasagna and we exchanged gifts.  They joined us for our church's candlelight service.  My son played trumpet in the orchestra and even got a solo.  He did amazing.  I used to feel bad about not making it to Long Island for my sister's Christmas Eve party with my extended family but over the last few years I'm quite content with being at home and I'd much prefer spending the night before Christmas at church celebrating the One who came to earth as a baby to save us from our sins.  

After the kids went to bed I rushed to finish all of the wrapping and set the gifts under the tree.  We slept in on Christmas Day, which is different from how we used to get woken up really early by eager small children.  Now that they are older they don't seem as impatient to rip through everything under the tree.  It's also become a bit more difficult figuring out what to buy them now that they are in the teen/young adult ages but they seemed happy with what they got.  

And Brooke was spoiled, too!

My parents came in the afternoon and sat through the Commanders/Cowboys game the guys insisted on watching and I made a nice ham dinner.  My daughter has been fighting sickness ... again ... so she tried to keep her distance.  

Today my son worked and when he got home they turned on the next new episodes of Stranger Things.  

Christmas seems to come by so quickly and I never feel ready for it until it's over.  Every year I say the same thing and I'm going to say it again - next year I'm going to be intentional about starting and finishing the shopping early, take more time to bake cookies and all the festive things, and just not wait until the night before to get everything wrapped.  Next Christmas will be back again and it will arrive quickly because time seems to be moving faster now than it ever did.  

I hope your Christmas was special and filled with love and joy!

Five For Friday: Christmas Edition of "Would You Rather"

 Hello friends!

I'm not consistent with the Five for Friday and this week I decided to pull five Would You Rather questions I found from the internet.  There was a bunch of questions but I pulled 5 that I thought was the best.  If you have the time and want to play along I'd love to read your answers in the comment section or on your own blog.  Let's go ...

1.  Would you rather give gifts or receive gifts?

Give.  Receiving gifts is nice and appreciative but I feel awkward accepting things from others.  I'd much rather give to others.  

2.  Would you rather travel for Christmas or stay home?

Stay home!  

3.  Would you rather go to a Christmas party or or have a Christmas movie day?

Definitely would rather stay home and watch movies.  

4.  Would you rather open Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

I always give my kids one gift on Christmas Eve and it's a pair of new pajamas and a book, maybe some candy too.  Everything else is opened on Christmas morning.  

5.  Would you rather live in a snow globe or a gingerbread house?

Gingerbread house.  I can eat my way out of that.  

Prepping for Christmas 2025

  As I was reading BillieJo's blog post for today she said something that really stuck with me, "This is the only Christmas 2025 we will celebrate."  Wow!  That's pretty powerful.  Yes, we do have Christmas year after year but this will be the only one of the year 2025 and the only one that will be everything that it is.  With having a mother in late stage Alzheimer's who also battles other health issues I do keep in mind that this could possibly be the last Christmas we have with her.  In fact, it could even be the last one I have with my father or my husband's parents, or anyone for that matter, since none of us know when our time is coming up.  I know that sounded morbid, maybe, but you know what I mean.  This is also the last Christmas we have before my son goes off to college.  He'll be home next Christmas for break but it will feel very different.  Christmas no longer feels as it used to and some traditions have changed (like Santa Claus - my kids don't believe anymore) but so much is still the same.  Every year we celebrate the true meaning, the birth of Jesus.  We'll attend our church's Christmas Eve candlelight service and then wake up on Christmas Day to open gifts.  That moment I have in the morning with just the four of us is special and it won't be long before my kids will be doing that in their own homes with their own families.  Every Christmas will continue to have some of the same traditions but then some changes as well.  Change ... ugh, I don't do well with change at all.  

But I won't think of the past or even the future.  In one week we will be celebrating the Christmas of 2025 and I will do my best to make it as wonderful as it can be.  No stressing over what I can't control.  Like, finding out one week before the holiday that my sister-in-law decided she did not want to host dinner at her house, which had been tradition for years.  It's okay, I understand the financial burden of it all but now I have to take time to clean and organize a house that isn't very clean at the moment and doesn't have a lot of space to hold guests.  I know, we'll figure it out.  I'm also not finished with Christmas shopping and, as usual, I'll be stuck in the middle of crowded stores trying to get it all done.  But, like every year, it will get done.  We haven't watched all of the Christmas movies I've wanted to because everyone has their own busy schedules and we all need to be here and there and by the time the kids are home they are exhausted.  It's okay, we've already seen a few movies and we'll squeeze some time for a few more.  

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Savior, the one who brings peace to the world.  What would Christmas be if we didn't surround ourselves with peace?  This holiday season I am choosing peace over stress.  

And yes, you can spot my children's school pictures for this year.  Every year the pictures in those frames change but this year is my son's last.  That picture will remain.  My daughter's will change three more times.  

Time doesn't stand still but for the next week it's all going to be about Christmas 2025 and I'll cherish every moment while it's here.  

Another Snowy Day in PA

 On Saturday evening the snow began to fall and it continued throughout the night.  We woke up on Sunday morning to a few inches blanketing the ground.  I do find snow to be very pretty - from the inside of my house staring at it from the window.  Because Sunday was church and my husband teaches a boys Sunday school class we had to go.  I'm glad we did.  As always, the sermon was well spoken and filled with Biblical teaching.  We learned that the executive pastor is leaving and starting a church of his own further north.  It came as a shock and a sad feeling but we do understand the importance of going where God leads.  

The drive made for beautiful scenery.  These pictures don't do justice.  

Our husky, who I've already stated is not one who enjoys the cold, white stuff, seemed to have a little fun with it.  Maybe she's finally realizing she was bred to be a snow dog.  She spent a lot of time outside and then indoors for a nap in between play.  

Because of low temperatures and morning icy roads the school called for a two-hour delay.  It was nice having a slow start this morning and then I made it through the van run.  All but one student made it in today.  In less than two hours it will be time to bring them home.  So, I'm using the little time I have in between to get laundry done, some housework and, of course, taking a minute to write his blog.  

Are you in an area of the country that has seen any snow this weekend? 

On The 12th Day of Christmas ...

 

My apologies for not being consistent in blogging.  I'm quite envious of those of you who post on a specific weekly schedule.  I'd like to do better since this blog is a fun way to meet others and also have a special place to jot down some of the things happening in my life, as well as what I may be feeling at the time.  It's nice to have a place to look back on.  Sometimes I will look at old blog posts and think to myself oh, I've forgotten about that.  

So, here we are, 12 days until Christmas and just like this time every year I am not prepared.  I always find myself rushing to buy gifts while telling myself I'm going to start shopping earlier next year but then ... here I am getting ready to do it all again.  Christmas shopping seemed a lot simpler when my kids were little and enjoyed playing with toys.  There were so many options when it came to toys and dolls.  Now, they are a teenager and young adult and what do you get for a teenager and young adult?  Moreso, the practical things that are needed like electronics, books, and gift cards.  That's all I can think of.  It's also frustrating to not know what to get my husband and I certainly don't know what to get my parents because those two don't need anything and usually just give the stuff away to someone else.  I try not to stress, because Christmas should not be about stressing over gift buying, but instead remembering the greatest gift of all - Jesus our Savior.  

This morning I woke up to a quiet house while Rob and the kids left to do a one mile race nearby.  I'm the only non-runner in the family and I'm okay with that.  Then my son will be off to work for a few hours and when he returns I'll be taking the kids coat shopping.  Yes, it's mid-December and they have yet to have a new coat.  Teens these days usually don't wear them but it's needed.  They outgrew their other ones and I did not realize that soon enough.  I will try to sneak some gift buying as well.  

Happy Saturday y'all!  

It's Too Cold Outside

 I guess it's that time of year again.

In all three years as a school van driver, at about exactly the same time of year, this shiny light appears with a LOW TIRE warning.  Yesterday came that day.  I knew I'd be okay to risk driving both morning and afternoon runs and then my husband so kindly checked and added air to all four tires.  He said every tire was low.  So, I will see if the light comes back on and if it does I will definitely run in to the bus garage.  Last year one tire actually needed to be repaired so it could be that again or it could just be what happens to tires when the air gets cold.  

And lately it's been COLD.  

I consider myself lucky to be part of the country that experiences the weather of all four seasons but this is my least favorite of them all.  I'm sure I've already told you that, though.

In better news it's FRIDAY!  I had to wake up earlier than usual to take the girl to her swim practice before school.  I did my morning van run and will spend time getting things done around the house until it's time to leave again to bring everyone home.  I'm hoping for a relaxing and cozy night inside tonight and I will suggest we watch a Christmas movie.  Home is my favorite place to be, especially in this season.  

Tomorrow will be our first experience at the school's swim invitational.  Since my daughter is still new to swimming she won't be competing yet but I did sign up to help at the snack bar.  I'll admit that I am not really looking forward to it.  I'm clueless as to what to expect.  I'd much rather spend a Saturday at home or maybe do some much needed Christmas shopping but this is something my daughter really wanted to get into and it's only right that I support her through that.  Sunday will be church and my daughter is going to her friend's/our next door neighbor's 15th birthday party.  15!  I remember the day they moved into the house and on that same night was when her mother went into labor.  Times moves so fast.  I'm sure I've said that enough times, too.  

Enjoy the weekend and stay warm!  

First Snowfall

 The view outside my window.  

This is the first snow fall of the season and it came down heavily sometime after 5am and continued on and off for a few hours when it turned over to rain.  There's just enough snow to cover the ground and enough rain to make it all slushy.  Worrying that by the time the sun goes down it may all turn to ice.  

Last night the school called for a two-hour delay and then this morning as I sat with my cup of coffee a text came in saying that they were officially closed.  I let the kids sleep in and enjoyed a quiet morning.  As much as I am grateful for these snow days I'm not so happy that I don't get paid.  

You would also think that being a Siberian Husky means that this snow would give you a sense of wanting to harness up and run for miles while pulling a sled but, instead, I have a husky that would rather be angry at the white stuff.  "What am I supposed to do in this?" is what I'm sure she's thinking.  

I'll admit, from the inside looking out it's very beautiful but ...

Last Day of Break

 

Welcome December!  As much as I am a lover of summertime I do feel as though this is my favorite time of the year.  It's filled with the good memories of my childhood when family would gather at my grandparents house with all of the aunts, uncles and cousins.  My grandparents loved Christmas and made sure to make it special for all the grandchildren.  Then we would arrive home really late and Santa's gift was already under the tree for me.  My dad couldn't wait until morning and insisted we all stayed up to open all of the presents.  My parents made Christmas extra special, too.  As I got older Christmases began to look different but it was always special.  Then once I had children it was so incredible to be able to see the holiday through their little eyes.  We filled the tree with a lot of gifts for them and were woken up very early on Christmas Day to their impatience with wanting to open them.  

Today is the last day of Thanksgiving break but they are calling for about 2"-5" inches of snow starting late tonight into tomorrow morning so that could mean a two hour delay or closing for school.  We will see.  The break was good.  A mix of busy and relaxing.  I'm still working on the decorating but the tree is up.  In the first year of marriage Rob and I both had off work on Black Friday and neither had any desire to be part of the shopping rush so we stayed home and decorated the apartment for Christmas.  Then we decided to make it a Black Friday tradition every year.  Setting up and decorating the tree seems to take up most of the day.  Having to fluff the branches, fixing broken lights and doing my best to strategically place each ornament is a challenge but I love when I can look at it's finished beauty and feel thankful.  My mother had always been good at getting the branches moved in perfect position and she was particular with making sure the balls were evenly placed, she refused to have the same colors too close to each other.  I don't know how she did it but that's a struggle for me.  My mother also liked changing up the theme each year.  For me, I keep it simple and it's covered in store bought ornaments and handmade ornaments from the kids.  It's a tree filled with memories of our family through the years and it's exactly as I love it.  

As I wrap up the last day of Thanksgiving break there is a lot to do.  Laundry, meal planning and grocery shopping, and hopefully finishing last minute details of the decorating so all the boxes can go back up to the attic.  Last night my husband and son drove down to DC to watch the Commanders/Broncos game.  The Commanders is their team and this is a tradition for my son's birthday.  It seemed like a good game where Washington fought hard but unfortunately lost by 1 point.  Since it was a late game they stayed at a hotel and will be coming home today.  My daughter is currently at the school for swim practice.  So, as of right now I'm taking a moment to enjoy the quiet house with a cup of coffee.  I also plan on starting December by reading and studying the book of John in the Bible.  

I hope you have an amazing December filled with good cheer, joy, and happiness!!!!

18th Birthday/An Unconventional Thanksgiving

 The week started by celebrating a very special boy's 18th birthday.  I cannot believe how quickly these years have gone and now my boy is officially an adult.  When he gives us attitude, which happens more often than it should, I remind him how I can now kick him out the door ... but I wouldn't.  I couldn't.  He's certainly not ready.  I'm not ready.  I remember going to prayer and asking God to allow me the blessing to be a mother, promising Him that I will raise my children to know Him.  Very quickly those two lines appeared on the test and everything from that point on changed.  I hold tightly to all the memories, feel a lot of regret over the mistakes I have made as a mom, and cherish the current moments.  Matthew, you are a gift and I am so grateful for you.  

On Tuesday we went to a dinner in Hershey to celebrate all of the recent Eagle Scouts in the area.  It was a nice event with delicious food and recognition.  

And of course, it wouldn't make sense to have an event in Hershey without the best chocolate scattered as the centerpiece of each table.  

A thought had come to mind recently about an idea to do something together as a family instead of having our traditional Thanksgiving dinner at home.  We usually host with my parents and in-laws in attendance.  I gave Rob and the kids the choice and they all agreed in wanting to do something outside of the home.  My kids don't even like turkey and all of the sides (they are weirdos, I know) and after some issues of last and previous Thanksgivings I wanted a break from family drama.   Eye rolls from the mother-in-law and sister-in-law, insults from my father ... yeah, I'll admit to having to deal with those things.  As much as I enjoy the food, I felt it was a good idea to just get away.  Why not?  Do we really need to do things the traditional way all the time?  I think not.  

The day began with the kids running in the nearby Turkey Trot.  My son medaled; second best time in his age group.  Our original plan of the day was not going to work out so we headed into Philadelphia, which is a few hour drive from us.  None of us have ever walked around this city and we wanted to check it out.  It was amazing to see how many people were still walking around, even though many stores were closed for the holidays.  Sadly, there were a lot of homeless, either sleeping on the sidewalks or begging for money.  

We saw tall buildings.  

The Liberty Bell

The famous LOVE statue.  It's much smaller than I thought it was.  

The Christmas tree is now set up.  We did not stay long enough to see it lit up, though.  

And ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe.  Cheeseburgers took the place of the turkey.  

We promised the kids we would take them back on a warmer day when all of the stores and museums are open.  Philadelphia is mostly what I thought it would be and I would have no problem going back. 

Maybe that's not your idea of a good Thanksgiving but for us it was enjoyable.  Don't ever be afraid to step away from what everyone considers the norm.   

It Was a Hectic Tuesday Night

My husband had asked if I could go with our son to the next scout meeting because he was going to receive an award from the firehouse and they would also be serving dinner as well.  My husband, who was the one who was always involved in scouting, had a board meeting and could not attend.  I agreed to go, of course, I would have anyway.  Since my son already earned his Eagle Scout achievement and will turn 18 next week this would be the last meeting he could attend.  I was excited for it.  My husband assumed it began at 7, which was always when these meetings started.  I sat on the couch watching my son play his video game while chatting with my husband who was getting ready to leave for the board meeting.  One of the scout leaders had sent a reminder email earlier that day and I had only glanced at it but for some reason I decided to check it again.  Dinner started at 6.  I looked at the clock and it was 5:35.  I shouted that we had to be there at 6 and told my son to get ready immediately.  He rushed around, making a scene while trying to find his scout shirt, and then found it hanging in it's appropriate spot in the closet just minutes later.  We rushed out the door and made it on time.  My son and the other recent Eagle Scout were given their awards, prayer was said and instructions on getting dinner was given.  At that time I received a text from my daughter that she was finished with play rehearsal so I had to sneak away to get her from the high school and bring her back to the firehall, in time for her to get a bite to eat as well.  Whew!  That was a lot of rushing and running around.  

That's just an example of what my life is like sometimes.  A lot of rushing around and trying to be at two places at once and not being able to get my dates and times correct.  As exhausting as it is I'm embracing these moments.  With having a senior and freshman I'm realizing just how quickly time is going by and it won't be like this forever.  

On This Veterans Day

As the bitter coldness of the outside strikes with wind causing the leaves to fall from the trees, I'm inside nestled under a blanket with a hot cup of coffee while writing up this post.  I woke up a bit later than usual, started a cup of coffee and then spent a little time with my husband before he headed to work.  I watch as my poor husband stresses about our finances, which often consumes his mind.  I'm blessed to have a man who works so hard and I pray God releases all of that tension from him.  As for me, I'm off work today and that's all thanks to the veterans of the United States.  The school I drive for has off but my kids' district does not so my daughter left for school and my son is starting his online college classes and will head to high school later this afternoon.  

My son is now a licensed driver.  An extra worry for this mother.  Yesterday he drove himself to school and work for the first time and I've never felt a level of anxiety quite this high before.  The dog and I watched from the window as he pulled away and my eyes began to fill with tears.  Just as it did when I watched him ride off on the school bus for the very first time in kindergarten.  This, of course, feels much more different.  

Mothers of older children, how did you do it?  How did you let them go?  I know, I know, it's just part of parenthood.  We raise our children to become independent and self-sufficient but when that time comes, wow, it's difficult.  He'll be 18 in a few weeks and months away from graduating high school.  He's been looking at a few colleges; one is two hours away and that's the one he's most interested in.  No matter how old he gets I will always picture that little boy with a content smile and innocent mind who constantly said "I love you, Mommy" with little arms wrapped around me.  

Now he's apparently too much of a man for that.  

Okay, now that I've gotten myself emotional.  Moving on.  

The plan for today is to stay at home and take advantage of my extra time to clean as much as I can.  Maybe do a little baking too.  So many parts of my home get neglected and it's taking a toll on me.  I'll have dinner ready by the time my husband gets home and then he's off to do his duty as director of the school board.  My son and I will be joining for part of the meeting as they are giving recognition to the runners who qualified for districts.  I'll be out of there quickly after and before they do the public comment period because some of those speakers are ... well, let's say it's better if I not share a room with them.  They can get very mean towards the school board.  I'm a bit overprotective.

I guess that's it for today.  Enjoy your Tuesday and if you are or your spouse is a veteran I just want to give a huge THANK YOU for your service!  This is my grandpa, who would have turned 102 in October but died at the age of 80.  He fought in both Normandy and the Battle of the Bulge during World War 2.  Both of his parents came to the USA from Poland and he was proud of that Polish heritage.  Once he finished his time in the army he became an aircraft mechanic and raised 6 kids (my dad being the second oldest) with my grandmother.  I miss you, Grandpa!  

Shorter Days of November Are Here

Hello ... and welcome to my first post of November.  It's hard to believe the year 2025 is coming to a close and Christmas is around the corner.  Daylight Savings has ended and as much as I enjoyed that extra hour of sleep last Sunday I really struggle with the pitch black darkness at 5pm.  By 8pm I feel absolutely done with the day and all I can think about is crawling into bed.  

Halloween came and went.  My daughter dressed up as a cow and went trick-or-treating with a group of friends.  This is the first year I did not join her and I was actually okay with that.  I do miss when they were little and everything was new and exciting for them.  The teenage years are filled with other newer experiences and an independence they are ready for.  My son and his girl friend (not sure if they are official but I'd like to say they are) had dinner with us and then watched a few scary movies together.  I opted to stay in my bedroom while watching a non-Halloween television show.  I grew up being forced by family to watch scary movies and now as an adult they aren't appealing to me at all.  

Now that marching band and cross-country has ended we are adjusting to a new routine.  My son got a job at a shoe store, his favorite place to buy running shoes.  My daughter joined the swim team; which took us all by surprise, and she is also acting in the fall play.  Yesterday was election day and in my town the results were in my favor but I'm questioning the decisions made in other areas of this country (I'll keep all that to myself).  Regardless, I will always stand by knowing that God is the One in control and He is who I lean on.  

My kids have an early dismissal today and my son has work this evening.  I've been spending the dark evenings relaxing at home.  What more could a homebody like me enjoy?  If only humans had the ability to hibernate, I would definitely be asleep in shelter until spring.  

Catching Up

 

Good morning on this chilly Tuesday morning!  I do hope the autumn season is treating you well.  I woke up to a dark morning, did my school van run, came home and started some laundry and had breakfast.  Now I'm just taking some time to relax but I think I've done enough relaxing over the last three days and it's miserable.  

From Friday night until Saturday morning I had trouble falling asleep as I began to experience some intense chills.  I tried bundling up with extra blankets and moving to different positions but nothing was working.  On Saturday the chills continued but then also came body aches and a fever.  It was a busy day of my son's championship cross-country race and I did not want to miss it.  This was the last race with the high school team.  As rough as it was I made it and watched him with pride.  Then went home and took a nap.  Later that evening was the marching band show, which both my kids are part of.  This was another last for our son and something else I refused to miss.  On Sunday I missed out on church and stayed in bed.  Thankfully, my husband was kind enough to help out with dinner and other things.  On Monday I was still miserable and took off work, something I don't like to do and they don't even like when we do it but I was not in any shape to drive.  I stayed in bed.  Last night my head was pounding so badly that it caused my eyeballs to ache.  I took Tylenol and headed to bed early.  This morning I woke up feeling better and was able to do my van run.  So far, I'm okay and need to make up for all the housework I couldn't get to but I'm still going to try and take it slightly easy.  I did not get a professional diagnosis but I'm certain it was the flu.  One of the boys in my van had the flu last week so I'm guessing that's the culprit.  It was miserable.  I cannot remember the last time I felt that sick.  

Today my daughter is home sick.  We can never seem to get through one month of the school year without a sick day, it seems.  I'm praying November is kinder to us in that way.  

I hope you are staying healthy.  

Random Thoughts For Friday

 Happy Friday!  Friends, we made it!

This picture is from a walk I took around my neighborhood.  I'm trying to become more intentional about walking daily and also getting into a good exercise routine.  I lost that motivation a long time ago and need to get back on track.  Not for vanity but for health.  These horses are across the street from my neighborhood and I love when they hang out near the fence.  

I actually wanted to do a Five For Friday today and include five pictures of what fall looks like in my area but I did not have time to snap many pictures so maybe that will be done next week.  I lack in consistency when it comes to this blog but I'll give myself the excuse that I'm a busy lady.  

Yes, it's been a busy week.  The weather is changing into the cold season and I've had to make some extra time in the morning to defrost the windows in my school van.  The four boys in my van are good at entertaining themselves but they can be quite wild.  I constantly hear them chanting, "siiixxx seevvvven" and it's the most annoying thing ever.  Have you heard about the 6 7 craze among teens lately?  If you haven't, I'll just say you're quite lucky.  I don't get it but I don't think they get it either.  

Tonight is the last high school football game of the season and I'll get to watch my two kids perform in the band and tomorrow night is their final band show.  Tomorrow morning my son will be running in the championship race and it will be the last time he runs for the high school cross-country team.  On Sunday the band will be in a Halloween parade.  My son is opting out of doing it but my daughter is excited to join in.  The problem is she is going to have to miss church and I'm not exactly happy about that.  Missing church for a Halloween celebration just does not seem right with me.  But I told her we will be going to the evening service, for sure.  Forgive me, Father, for I don't always know the right thing to do and even when I do know the right thing to do I struggle to follow through with my convictions.

My daughter has been struggling emotionally and it's affecting her relationships with people.  I'm trying to reach out to a Christ-centered therapist for her.  As much as I try to help her it just isn't enough.  So there's that.  

I look forward to a fun weekend of watching my kids in their activities.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll find time to rest.  

Have a good weekend, friends!  Thanks for visiting with me today and putting up with my rambling.  You are appreciated and adored.  

I Don't Prefer This Type of Sandwich

 On Saturday I spent the day with my parents.  Because of my busy schedule I don't get to see them as often as I should.  I'm in what is called the "sandwich generation" where I'm raising a family of my own but also having to take care of my aging parents.  Its not an easy place to be but it is necessary.  My three siblings live on Long Island and their lives are pretty hectic too.  They don't get to visit often and, sadly, they don't bother to call my parents often either.  That bothers my father a lot.  Jumping in when needed is left up to me and as much as I'm willing to do it, it's not always easy.  I was supposed to watch my mother while my dad went to Long Island for his best friend's funeral but his sciatica pain has been acting up and he was not able to make the trip.  I still went over to the house to help clean and made dinner.  My mother is in her final stage of Alzheimer's.  She can no longer walk, can barely speak, and often needs help being fed.  My father insists on keeping her at home with him instead of a nursing home but it's taking a toll on him.  Saturday was the worst I had seen my mother.  She has also been choking on her own saliva and it gets bad.  Her neurologist warned my father that her time is coming to a close very soon.  This has weighed heavily on me and I don't know what to do.  They need me.  My husband and kids need me.  I'm torn in between.   

Friday was senior night at the football game.  They honored all of the senior football players, cheerleaders and band members.  We escorted Matthew on the field as they talked about his future plans.  I've been able to hold myself together but at the end of the game as the band played "Sweet Caroline" in the stands the tears began to flow uncontrollably.  That was the last home game my son would perform in and it felt bittersweet.  More bitter than sweet, honestly.  

I've been trying hard to keep it all together but feeling unsure if I'm mentally equipped to handle all of it.  That's when my faith kicks in and I ask God for guidance, strength and clarity.  He certainly gives it to me and I'm grateful for that.  Even in this season of trials I still remain thankful.  

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

-- James 1:2 -4

Seasonal Energy Loss

 What is better than being belly up on the couch while it's chilly outside?  

Previously, I listed all the reasons why I like autumn and those are very true; however, my body can't seem to adjust well to the change in weather.  I'm not sure why but it feels as though my body wants to shut down for the season.  I just don't do well in colder temperatures.  It is also when I start feeling lazier and more down-in-the-dumps.  All I can think of is bundling up under a blanket and relaxing. 

Last night my husband and I headed into our bedroom early and watched Twisters.  Have you seen that movie?  It's pretty good.  I actually like it better than the first Twister movie, and I'm not one who usually likes sequels and remakes.  Although, I'm not even sure if this is even considered a sequel.  It definitely felt like a movie all of its own.  The story is about a retired tornado-chaser and meteorologist who returns to Oklahoma and reluctantly joins a new team to begin the tornado chasing again.  Now, I'm not quite sure why anyone would want to risk their lives chasing tornadoes but it was a good action packed movie.  It did have some bad words but no inappropriate love scenes/nudity and plenty of country music in the background.  My son wants to see it and I would definitely watch it again.  

How are you doing, my friends?  Are you enjoying autumn where you are?  I see I have a lot of views on each post and I know quite a few are from all over the country.  Here in Pennsylvania we experience all four seasons - from the rainy spring, to the blistering hot summer, the crispness of fall and bitter cold winters with occasional snow - I should not complain.  But this time of year, blankets and sweatshirts become my go-to companions.  

We did manage to go to the pumpkin patch last Sunday.  It was a pleasant family experience where we walked around comparing one big pumpkin to another.  My daughter and I came up with an idea to buy a bunch of smaller pumpkins as an activity that could be done during our time of hosting the cross-country team's dinner on Monday.  We did manage to buy 11 pumpkins and then headed to the dollar store for new paints and paintbrushes.  

The dinner was a pre-celebration for Tuesday's county race.  My nerves were high before the dinner.  My social anxiety often sets in and I struggle with being around people.  There was rain in the forecast so we had to scratch the idea of having it in the backyard and spent the weekend reorganizing and cleaning the house so everyone could fit inside.  The dinner went well and everyone seemed to enjoy the time together.  All praise goes to my husband who cooked the spaghetti.  Surprisingly, we did have some left over, which served as dinner for the last two nights.  

After work on Tuesday I made it in time to watch the race.  My son and three others from the school advanced to the championship race, which will be next Saturday.  I'm so proud of him.  He is having a great senior year so far.  

I'll leave you with this adorable squirrel and a message I'm beginning to relate to.  Have a great Thursday, everyone!  

Purpose Through Depression

 Sometimes people from my past just randomly pop into my head and, to be honest, I may do a random Facebook search to see what they are up to these days.  Curiosity gets me sometimes as I do wish the best for everyone.  The other day I began thinking about an old boss.  This man owned an insurance company and I began working as his receptionist sometime in the year 2001.  It was just the two of us in the office and my job was easy.  Things started out great and then suddenly he stopped showing up for work.  He was the only one with the key so he would come by to let me in and then leave for most of the day.  He told me he was having marital problems and needed to be present to handle those things with her.  I did my best to manage things around the office but eventually he stopped showing up at all.  I waited in the car for him but gave up after a few hours.  I then gave up after a few days of waiting.  He never called to tell me what was going on.  A few weeks later I emailed asking for my last paycheck.  He responded and told me it was in the mail, apologized for what had happened and told me he was working at restoring his marriage because he felt that was right.  No explanation as to why he just let me go like that but I did get the impression that his wife did not like the fact that he had a young girl working for him.  I was in my early twenties, engaged and needing employment.  I hadn't thought about him since, until just a few days ago.  His name popped into my head and I was curious to see if  he was still in business.  After a Google search I came across an obituary from December of 2014 and then another article that talked about how he had intentionally jumped from the top of a hotel building.  

I'm not sure why he popped into my head and I'm not sure why it happened 11 years after his death but I do feel bad for his family and all who knew him.  This news has weighed heavily on my heart since finding out.  Tim seemed like a nice guy and by our conversations I could tell he had a very conservative lifestyle and was a man of faith.  He was always talking about his children.  That goes to show that depression can get to anyone. 

I think back to my own story of battling depression.  I feel as if I had experienced it for as long as I can remember.  I was always different from everyone around me - not caring about fitting in and not concerned at all for my future.  I couldn't even see myself in a future.  By the time the teen years came I was cutting myself with a knife and trying to figure out ways to die.  My emotional pain was so high that I couldn't even put a smile on my face if I tried.  I did have to go through treatment, years of therapy and anti-depressant medication.  I made bad choices in hopes to find relief from the pain but it was not until I gave myself fully to Christ at 19 that I started feeling hope for a future.  Even now I still wrestle with some heavy thoughts but I find some of these things help:

😃 Stepping outside under the sunshine

😃 A hot shower

😃Physical exercise

😃Connecting with a friend

😃Journaling 

😃Going to church

😃Studying God's Word

😃Praying 

And more importantly, I remind myself that being born into this world meant God wanted me here.  I have purpose for being here, even on the days when it feels like I don't.  He knows me.  He loves me.  He guides me.  He created me.  He created you, also and with a purpose and a plan.  Maybe you are filled with feelings of confusion and sadness to the point of not being sure if you can live another day with it, but I beg you to hold on and I assure you with time things will get better.  As Annie said, "The sun will come out tomorrow."  Maybe not even tomorrow, but eventually.  If you can't bear to get through, seek help.  It's there.  Hang on, even if it's just by a thread.  The world is a better place because you are here. 

I think back to the girl of just 14 years old, sitting on the bed with a knife to the wrist, not understanding what purpose I had in life and feeling so much pain for what I had been put through.  Now, here I am, on my 47th birthday with a house, a husband and two awesome kids, and a desire to help people in need through writing.  

Maybe it's not you, but I do feel like someone needed this today.  Keep holding on!  You are worth it!

College Touring

Mondays can be tough but I'm always grateful for another week.  This morning had a foggy and cool start to the day but we are supposed to see temperatures reaching to the 80's again and possibly for the last time this season.  Rain is expected tomorrow, which will bring seasonal temperatures.  

On Friday I took a day off work and escorted my son to one of the colleges he has been looking at and was accepted to.  They were having an open house and we got to meet some of the staff and students and see dorms and classrooms.  He even met the coach and some of the runners and was offered a spot on the cross-country team.  It's a beautiful campus but his heart seems to be set on the college he toured with his dad the week before.  Both are Christian colleges, something that is important to him.  

That morning started with an early wake up as I had to get my daughter awake so she could get ready for school.  I made a cup of coffee and slipped back under the blankets with my coffee and devotional book.  I'm usually in such a rush in the morning so it was such a nice way to spend the start of the day.  I had wished that could be my routine every day.  As much as I love working and need to work I also dream of being back to those stay-at-home mom days.  I know it's not fair to my husband because he does need the financial help but I can wish for simpler days, right?  

The campus is in the next county so it was not a far drive and the open house lasted five hours but it felt long.  

I was so happy to have had a day spent with my boy.  That little boy who ran into my arms for a hug and depended on me for everything is now almost 18 and preparing a future of adulting.  It's an experience all parents have to face and I'm not ready for it.  I'm just glad he's still really close to us and I hope that relationship continues.