I Don't Prefer This Type of Sandwich

 On Saturday I spent the day with my parents.  Because of my busy schedule I don't get to see them as often as I should.  I'm in what is called the "sandwich generation" where I'm raising a family of my own but also having to take care of my aging parents.  Its not an easy place to be but it is necessary.  My three siblings live on Long Island and their lives are pretty hectic too.  They don't get to visit often and, sadly, they don't bother to call my parents often either.  That bothers my father a lot.  Jumping in when needed is left up to me and as much as I'm willing to do it, it's not always easy.  I was supposed to watch my mother while my dad went to Long Island for his best friend's funeral but his sciatica pain has been acting up and he was not able to make the trip.  I still went over to the house to help clean and made dinner.  My mother is in her final stage of Alzheimer's.  She can no longer walk, can barely speak, and often needs help being fed.  My father insists on keeping her at home with him instead of a nursing home but it's taking a toll on him.  Saturday was the worst I had seen my mother.  She has also been choking on her own saliva and it gets bad.  Her neurologist warned my father that her time is coming to a close very soon.  This has weighed heavily on me and I don't know what to do.  They need me.  My husband and kids need me.  I'm torn in between.   

Friday was senior night at the football game.  They honored all of the senior football players, cheerleaders and band members.  We escorted Matthew on the field as they talked about his future plans.  I've been able to hold myself together but at the end of the game as the band played "Sweet Caroline" in the stands the tears began to flow uncontrollably.  That was the last home game my son would perform in and it felt bittersweet.  More bitter than sweet, honestly.  

I've been trying hard to keep it all together but feeling unsure if I'm mentally equipped to handle all of it.  That's when my faith kicks in and I ask God for guidance, strength and clarity.  He certainly gives it to me and I'm grateful for that.  Even in this season of trials I still remain thankful.  

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

-- James 1:2 -4

Seasonal Energy Loss

 What is better than being belly up on the couch while it's chilly outside?  

Previously, I listed all the reasons why I like autumn and those are very true; however, my body can't seem to adjust well to the change in weather.  I'm not sure why but it feels as though my body wants to shut down for the season.  I just don't do well in colder temperatures.  It is also when I start feeling lazier and more down-in-the-dumps.  All I can think of is bundling up under a blanket and relaxing. 

Last night my husband and I headed into our bedroom early and watched Twisters.  Have you seen that movie?  It's pretty good.  I actually like it better than the first Twister movie, and I'm not one who usually likes sequels and remakes.  Although, I'm not even sure if this is even considered a sequel.  It definitely felt like a movie all of its own.  The story is about a retired tornado-chaser and meteorologist who returns to Oklahoma and reluctantly joins a new team to begin the tornado chasing again.  Now, I'm not quite sure why anyone would want to risk their lives chasing tornadoes but it was a good action packed movie.  It did have some bad words but no inappropriate love scenes/nudity and plenty of country music in the background.  My son wants to see it and I would definitely watch it again.  

How are you doing, my friends?  Are you enjoying autumn where you are?  I see I have a lot of views on each post and I know quite a few are from all over the country.  Here in Pennsylvania we experience all four seasons - from the rainy spring, to the blistering hot summer, the crispness of fall and bitter cold winters with occasional snow - I should not complain.  But this time of year, blankets and sweatshirts become my go-to companions.  

We did manage to go to the pumpkin patch last Sunday.  It was a pleasant family experience where we walked around comparing one big pumpkin to another.  My daughter and I came up with an idea to buy a bunch of smaller pumpkins as an activity that could be done during our time of hosting the cross-country team's dinner on Monday.  We did manage to buy 11 pumpkins and then headed to the dollar store for new paints and paintbrushes.  

The dinner was a pre-celebration for Tuesday's county race.  My nerves were high before the dinner.  My social anxiety often sets in and I struggle with being around people.  There was rain in the forecast so we had to scratch the idea of having it in the backyard and spent the weekend reorganizing and cleaning the house so everyone could fit inside.  The dinner went well and everyone seemed to enjoy the time together.  All praise goes to my husband who cooked the spaghetti.  Surprisingly, we did have some left over, which served as dinner for the last two nights.  

After work on Tuesday I made it in time to watch the race.  My son and three others from the school advanced to the championship race, which will be next Saturday.  I'm so proud of him.  He is having a great senior year so far.  

I'll leave you with this adorable squirrel and a message I'm beginning to relate to.  Have a great Thursday, everyone!  

Purpose Through Depression

 Sometimes people from my past just randomly pop into my head and, to be honest, I may do a random Facebook search to see what they are up to these days.  Curiosity gets me sometimes as I do wish the best for everyone.  The other day I began thinking about an old boss.  This man owned an insurance company and I began working as his receptionist sometime in the year 2001.  It was just the two of us in the office and my job was easy.  Things started out great and then suddenly he stopped showing up for work.  He was the only one with the key so he would come by to let me in and then leave for most of the day.  He told me he was having marital problems and needed to be present to handle those things with her.  I did my best to manage things around the office but eventually he stopped showing up at all.  I waited in the car for him but gave up after a few hours.  I then gave up after a few days of waiting.  He never called to tell me what was going on.  A few weeks later I emailed asking for my last paycheck.  He responded and told me it was in the mail, apologized for what had happened and told me he was working at restoring his marriage because he felt that was right.  No explanation as to why he just let me go like that but I did get the impression that his wife did not like the fact that he had a young girl working for him.  I was in my early twenties, engaged and needing employment.  I hadn't thought about him since, until just a few days ago.  His name popped into my head and I was curious to see if  he was still in business.  After a Google search I came across an obituary from December of 2014 and then another article that talked about how he had intentionally jumped from the top of a hotel building.  

I'm not sure why he popped into my head and I'm not sure why it happened 11 years after his death but I do feel bad for his family and all who knew him.  This news has weighed heavily on my heart since finding out.  Tim seemed like a nice guy and by our conversations I could tell he had a very conservative lifestyle and was a man of faith.  He was always talking about his children.  That goes to show that depression can get to anyone. 

I think back to my own story of battling depression.  I feel as if I had experienced it for as long as I can remember.  I was always different from everyone around me - not caring about fitting in and not concerned at all for my future.  I couldn't even see myself in a future.  By the time the teen years came I was cutting myself with a knife and trying to figure out ways to die.  My emotional pain was so high that I couldn't even put a smile on my face if I tried.  I did have to go through treatment, years of therapy and anti-depressant medication.  I made bad choices in hopes to find relief from the pain but it was not until I gave myself fully to Christ at 19 that I started feeling hope for a future.  Even now I still wrestle with some heavy thoughts but I find some of these things help:

😃 Stepping outside under the sunshine

😃 A hot shower

😃Physical exercise

😃Connecting with a friend

😃Journaling 

😃Going to church

😃Studying God's Word

😃Praying 

And more importantly, I remind myself that being born into this world meant God wanted me here.  I have purpose for being here, even on the days when it feels like I don't.  He knows me.  He loves me.  He guides me.  He created me.  He created you, also and with a purpose and a plan.  Maybe you are filled with feelings of confusion and sadness to the point of not being sure if you can live another day with it, but I beg you to hold on and I assure you with time things will get better.  As Annie said, "The sun will come out tomorrow."  Maybe not even tomorrow, but eventually.  If you can't bear to get through, seek help.  It's there.  Hang on, even if it's just by a thread.  The world is a better place because you are here. 

I think back to the girl of just 14 years old, sitting on the bed with a knife to the wrist, not understanding what purpose I had in life and feeling so much pain for what I had been put through.  Now, here I am, on my 47th birthday with a house, a husband and two awesome kids, and a desire to help people in need through writing.  

Maybe it's not you, but I do feel like someone needed this today.  Keep holding on!  You are worth it!

College Touring

Mondays can be tough but I'm always grateful for another week.  This morning had a foggy and cool start to the day but we are supposed to see temperatures reaching to the 80's again and possibly for the last time this season.  Rain is expected tomorrow, which will bring seasonal temperatures.  

On Friday I took a day off work and escorted my son to one of the colleges he has been looking at and was accepted to.  They were having an open house and we got to meet some of the staff and students and see dorms and classrooms.  He even met the coach and some of the runners and was offered a spot on the cross-country team.  It's a beautiful campus but his heart seems to be set on the college he toured with his dad the week before.  Both are Christian colleges, something that is important to him.  

That morning started with an early wake up as I had to get my daughter awake so she could get ready for school.  I made a cup of coffee and slipped back under the blankets with my coffee and devotional book.  I'm usually in such a rush in the morning so it was such a nice way to spend the start of the day.  I had wished that could be my routine every day.  As much as I love working and need to work I also dream of being back to those stay-at-home mom days.  I know it's not fair to my husband because he does need the financial help but I can wish for simpler days, right?  

The campus is in the next county so it was not a far drive and the open house lasted five hours but it felt long.  

I was so happy to have had a day spent with my boy.  That little boy who ran into my arms for a hug and depended on me for everything is now almost 18 and preparing a future of adulting.  It's an experience all parents have to face and I'm not ready for it.  I'm just glad he's still really close to us and I hope that relationship continues.  

Welcome October

 Hello October ...

Scream the ghost and Beastly the bat welcome you as we've turned the page to another month.  October entered with sunny skies and mid-60's temperatures here in Pennsylvania.  I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt but it won't be long before I'll have to dress in sweatshirts and sweaters and that's okay with me.  

October is my birthday month.  I don't look at birthdays with as much excitement as I used to.  Instead, I see it simply for what it truly is: a blessing.  A blessing to have made it another year.  Even though my eye sight is worsening and my muscles don't move like they once did I appreciate all that I can do, still.  I am going to enter the forty-seventh year with gratitude.  

October is also the month when my kids' fall activities begin to wrap up.  These will be the last weeks of marching band practices, performances and cross-country practices and meets.  Yesterday was their first and only home meet of this season and Senior Night.  I'm glad my parents were able to be there and watch as Matthew set the school record.  They changed the course direction this year and he is the first for the record.  This is my daughter's first year and although she is always taking up the rear with her races I'm proud of her effort.  Last night, with disappointment in her tone she said, "I feel like I'm letting everyone down."  I assured her she wasn't but the goal would be to just work harder.  What I love about cross-country is the kindness that everyone shows - the coaches, teammates and even those on other teams.  It's so much different than our experience with baseball and dance.  I do hope she sticks with it with a willingness to work harder and improve.  Nevertheless, I'm as proud of her as I am my son.  

To kick off a new month I decided to put the scent of Sweet Apple in the essential oil defuser.  That probably would have been more suited for September but it is what it is.  The house is smelling so sweet.  

My goal for October is finding time to do some apple picking before it's too late.  That probably would have also been better to do in September but our busy schedules haven't allowed for it.  We also need to get some pumpkins.  It may also be time to tear down my garden, even though the tomatoes are still growing.  I'm sure the cold weather will appear soon enough and without warning and so it's better to get out there and prep for the winter that's soon to come.  Ugh!  I was actually staring at the garden today while planning all of the changes I want to make to it next year with eagerness for that season.  I'm going to take this time to do a lot of studying on how to improve my gardening skills.  I would love to expand and add more vegetables but that will have to begin with time, money and building.  

For you, my readers and friends - I hope October welcomes you with many, many blessings.  Thanks for stopping by.  

Five For Friday: Favorites of Autumn

 As much as I am a lover of summer I do have a high appreciation for fall.  I thought for today, I could list 5 reasons why.  

1.  I love, love, love the changing colors of the leaves.  The yellows, reds and orange make everything look so beautiful.  Unfortunately, the changing of colors means those leaves are going to end up falling to the ground.  It prepares us for the new things to come and I can appreciate that.  

2.  Fall is a time when my husband begins reminding me that it's soon time for me to start making pumpkin rolls.  I do love the taste of pumpkin rolls but I do not enjoy pumpkin pie.  I can also enjoy the taste of pumpkin spice coffee.  I actually prefer apples, though.  September is the time we purchase apple cider and it's enjoyed by all four of us.  If we can squeeze in the time, we also spend quality time picking apples at a nearby orchard.  

3.  Autumn is the season of my birthday.  It also ends with my son's birthday.  

4.  It's the start of football season, and although personally I'm not a big fan of the sport I appreciate that my husband and son are.  Just seeing the joy in their faces as their team wins.  Now since our kids are in marching band we have been spending every Friday at the high school stadium watching the game and seeing them perform on the field.  

5.  Going from hot to cool is a little difficult for me but I do enjoy having the chance to snuggle under a soft blanket and wearing sweaters and pants.  Sweat shirts are my absolute favorite.

What is your favorite thing about Autumn?

God's Promise

 

I snapped this picture last night after a thunderstorm came through the area.  The rainbow was actually much brighter than the picture shows.  To the right is our American flag, half mast in honor of the 3 police officers senselessly taken from my community last week.  The strategic placement was not intentional but I look at this picture and am reminded that even through the hardest of times we can still rely on the promises of God.  Many have taken these colors and used it as a symbol of their pride but I will always see a rainbow for what it is.  

This also reminds me of something else - we can see beauty after the storm.  

Beginning of Autumn

 Happy Monday everyone and welcome to the first official day of autumn.  On the radio this morning they were talking about whether or not these seasons come sooner than the calendar says.  Many agree that fall begins in the beginning of September after school begins and those leaves begin to change colors.  I know I'm a stickler for waiting until the official calendar date to get everything ready because I don't want to rush anything.  Today the new season began with brisk, cool temperatures.  Hoping to get the lawn mowed before the expected rain comes in.  I also have yet to pull out that orange tub filled with fall decor down from the attic.  Maybe today.

This morning the boys in my school van were quiet and a few even fell asleep.  Monday mornings are difficult.  I'm sure they will be filled with energy later, as they always are on the way home.  

The weekend went by quickly.  Friday was the Homecoming game where we won.  They also had a nice tribute to our local police officers.  On Saturday we traveled far for the kids' cross-country invitational.  They both did well.  Then we stopped for a quick bite of Popeyes before going home where they had to rush to get ready for Homecoming.  As they were at the dance my husband and I enjoyed a few hours outside under a dark, cloudy sky with a fire and some cooked marshmallows.  

Yesterday we went to church and then I spent all 6 hours watching the memorial service for Charlie Kirk.  Such an amazing tribute filled with speeches sharing the Gospel.  Erika's speech was .... wow!  She is the epitome of a Godly woman.  

Last week our community was hit with a devastating loss of 3 police officers while serving a search warrant.  This tragedy has made national news.  This is something we always see on television but never think it could happen in our own backyard.  It was so close to my backyard that I even recognized the faces of the officers when they showed the pictures.  I love how this community came together to support them.  I'll never understand the evil that is in this world and there seems to be so much of it lately but I also see how so many are coming together in a spiritual revival unlike anything I had ever witnessed.  If you are confused about who Jesus is I encourage you to find a Bible-focused church, read Scripture and pray.  You may also reach out to me and I will be happy to pray for you and share words of encouragement.  

FOUR FOR FRIDAY

 FIVE FOUR FOR FRIDAY because I didn't seem to have a fifth picture worth posting.  I'm going to do my best to no longer add pictures with my children's faces, something I should have already done for the sake of safety.  They are at the age where I should be asking permission but there are also a lot of crazies in the world.  I notice I've been getting a huge amount of visitors (all welcomed, thank you) but I need to be careful.  There are so many wonderful people out there but there's also those who cannot be trusted.  

In the midst of all the craziness going on in our nation and in the extremely busy schedules of our personal lives, my husband and I found some time to check out a new ice cream shop close by.  I got a caramel apple flavor and it did, in fact, taste exactly like a caramel apple.  

A sample of my daughter's homecoming dress.  I cannot believe she is old enough for homecoming.  

Just two siblings awaiting each of their turns at a cross-country meet.  My son did awesome and my daughter hit a personal record.  

The humans are faced with busy schedules but this dog gets to enjoy full days of laziness and relaxation.  

That's it!  Thank you for visiting and I wish you and your loved ones an amazing weekend.  

It's Not A Time For Silence

 I often wonder if I should sometimes use my blogging platform, and also social media, as a way to speak on the controversial side of things.  I understand that when people come to a blog they just want to receive some freedom from the noise they hear elsewhere and I have often felt the same.  Then again, I realize that when we stay silent against evil then evil will prevail more.  Unfortunately, there is no escaping the evil that goes on in our world.  We can no longer be immune to it.  

As Christians, we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  We are to do the work He has called us to do.  We are also supposed to share the Gospel, even with those that don't want to hear it.  Charlie Kirk did just that.  He was a man who loved God, loved his family and loved this country.  He sincerely loved the youth of our country and wanted to offer them an open dialogue so they could express themselves but then hear something from a different point of view.  A point of view that went against the vile things that are being taught today.  A point of view that supported religious freedom, traditional marriage and family, and teaching the youth to figure out how to love themselves for who God made them and not what the rest of the world wants them to believe they are.

I'm always hearing people fearing that we will end up in another Civil War but I believe we have already been in one for several years now.  When a man is shot for free speech we are no longer the country we are supposed to be. 

I am sad for the Kirk family and all who knew him personally.  The coward behind the gun, and all others involved, did not silence him yesterday, they only woke the sleeping bear in the rest of us.  I will not stop speaking the name of Jesus and I will not be silenced for my beliefs; religious and political.  

Charlie Kirk was not just a "right-wing activist" as the mainstream media calls him.  He was someone's husband and the father of two precious babies who will have to grow up without him.  I will be keeping them in prayer.  

This is also a day to remember the tragedy that occurred twenty-four years ago.   I will never forget sitting in my parents' living room watching some television on my day off of work, planning out my wedding that would take place eight months later.  Then my television show changed to the news and everything from that point on changed.  My sister's friend, Ralph Licciardi, was working in one of the tower's and never made it out.  Many people lost loved ones.  Many were in the presence of the attack and have those images etched in their minds for a lifetime.  Those of us who watched from our television screens will forever remember the fear and uncertainty of that day.  Never forget and teach it to the younger generations.  

A Chilly Start To The Week

My trees are giving a hint that the autumn season is creeping in.  The weather this morning is a chilly 65 degrees and I'm not sure how I feel about having to put a sweater on.  I confess, I do like this time of year but I do not look forward to the season that comes after fall.  I won't get into that now, though.  

I've been notified that I have to change pick up times for my three boys because a forth one was added and he lives a bit out of the way.  Starting tomorrow I will have to leave the house earlier to do my school van run.  I'm not sure how I feel about that either.  Still, it's a job I'm grateful for and less stress than I've had to deal with before in many, many other jobs.  

I told my daughter I may be pulling the fall decorations out of the attic this weekend and we can get a head start on getting things out but I like to keep all the patriotic things around for September 11th.  I prefer waiting until the actual first day of fall but never before Patriots Day.  

My son is still dealing with a cough, my daughter ended up getting sick but seems to be recovering faster than her brother has and now my husband is sick, too.  What is going on?  I often feel my throat getting scratchy but I can also feel my body fighting it.  A mother cannot get sick.  

This week will be busy with cross-country practices and a meet, band practices and a football game on Friday and this weekend will be even busier.  I should also get to yard work when time allows.  

Have a great week, friends!  Thanks for taking the time to stop by my little blog.  

Eagle Scout Celebration

 It's official.  We have an Eagle Scout.  Last night was the Eagle Court of Honor held for our Matthew and it was a great event.  I am so, so proud of how far he had gone with scouting and I feel a mixture of sadness and relief that this chapter is closed.  Relief because it's one less thing we have to worry about but sadness because being a part of scouts has been his life since the age of 6.  He did a lot and learned a lot.  Scouting has taught him many things I would have never thought of teaching him myself.  

We had many in attendance, including a representative of the Marine Corp, someone from the Sons of the American Revolution, our county commissioner and state representative - all who gave wonderful speeches.  One of our pastor's came along with his wife and started the night with an incredible opening prayer.  We ordered a ton of pulled pork from a man from our church who has started his own barbecue business and my husband made a ton of mac n cheese.   

I am so proud of the young man he is and I congratulate him on this great achievement.  I wasn't sure if he would have gone the entire way but he wanted to and did.  

They say the days are long and the years are short and that is absolutely true.  Here is a picture of where it all began, my six year old Tiger Scout.  Where did this little boy go?  

And to give an update on his sickness, I was worried he wouldn't be able to attend the event but in the last few days he's only been dealing with congestion and cough and also a rash.  During our second visit to the doctor, with a different doctor, he thought maybe it could be Hand, Foot and Mouth, which has been going around.  Things seem to be getting slightly better aside from a cough, which may be lingering for awhile.  Sickness always hits this poor guy hard.  

Five For Friday: Summer Memories

 This post is going up late today.  I should be at the football game watching my daughter perform in the marching band.  My son has been sick all week and this evening he spiked a fever so I'd rather be home keeping watch over him.  He's been feeling terrible.  I took him to the doctor and they cancelled out it being the flu/covid and strep.  I'm worried this may turn to pneumonia.  Please keep him in prayer.  

I haven't been consistent with the Five For Fridays but today I wanted to do one on five memorable things of this summer.  

1.  Summer vacation started with my daughter's dance recital.  Oh, how I'm going to miss seeing her dance on stage.  This was her 10th year of dance.  

2.  Our trip to Chincoteague Island, Virginia.  

3.  Seeing Brandon Lake, Phil Wickham and Josiah Queen perform at Hershey, PA.  If you have never heard of these singers, they perform Contemporary Christian music.  The show was phenomenal.  

4.  It is a difficult process being able to get tickets to see the Savannah Bananas so it was exciting when we were able to get 4 for the Baltimore game.  

5.  Most of the summer was spent at home relaxing.  My favorite thing to do.  

Back To Van Driving And School Time Sicknesses

 The morning drive can be rather quiet, as I pick up three teenage boys and drive about eight miles to their school.  We'll have friendly conversation here and there and I'll ask questions.  These three boys were suspended from their home school and need to go to another school that will help guide them, change them, and teach them how to navigate through life's challenges with a better behavior and attitude.  These kids have been respectful towards me and I don't have any reason to complain.  Every morning I start my day in prayer that God can guide me in being a good influence to them.  

My third year at this job has started and I am thankful for it.  It's mostly free of stress with management that cares.  I know I'll have to go back to full-time work eventually but for now I am going to enjoy being a school van driver.  I enjoy being on the road for a short time in the morning and again in the afternoon, with time in between to be at home hanging out with the dog and getting housework done.  

This is week two of school for my own children and my son is still in bed ... sick.  Oh, goodness.  Here we go!  It's always something when the school year starts.  He should be awake and working on his college online classes before going into the high school this afternoon.  I'm not sure if he will make it today and we may have to run to the doctor.  So, I will remain quiet as he gets the rest he needs.  

It seems these sicknesses come as the weather is changing.  We have definitely been seeing slightly cooler temperatures, which hints that autumn is soon coming ... but it's not here yet.  So put away your pumpkin spice latte, it's not time.  I'm a summer girl through and through but I do try and make the best out of the seasons that are to come but I insist on waiting until they come.  That orange box filled with fall decor will sit in the attic until mid September.  I just wish the fall sicknesses could wait too.  

Back To School

 

This week arrived faster than we had anticipated.  Summer vacation blew by like a breeze and we're already counting down to the end of May.  

My heart sank as I watched Bri and her neighborhood friends step onto the school bus for their first day of HIGH SCHOOL.  Talk about time moving fast, I'm not sure how we got to this point already.  She seemed excited for this next step and has already made new friends in marching band and cross country. Sadly, she decided to pack away those dance shoes and trade them in for running sneakers.  I'm okay with that.  As much as I'll miss watching her dance on stage it will be good for our bank account to get a little break from those heavy costs.  If you've ever had a dancer you'll know what I mean.  I look forward to seeing all of the things she'll do in high school but I do wish time could slow down just a bit.  

And speaking of time moving way too fast, Matt has made it to senior year.  It was difficult to think that he had his last first day of school.  I remember so clearly the day we put him on the school bus for his first day of kindergarten and now he gets to drive to school.  Ugh!  Since he's doing duel enrollment he'll be taking two online college courses in the morning and then going to the high school later in the day.  He was voted captain of the cross country team and continues to play trumpet in the marching band.  

We have now entered the busiest season of the year!  I'm just glad both of my kids will be doing the same activities and I'll get to be present for all of it.  

Right now I'm only scheduled to drive for one school and they don't start until next week so I've had this week to enjoy slow paced mornings and a full day of housework and time to myself.  My school van is back and parked in front of my house awaiting for it to be filled with teenage boys next week.  I'm sure as the year goes on they will add on more students and maybe even an elementary school run.  Regardless, I'll be happy when those paychecks start coming in again (and I know my husband will be relieved for that too).  

Say a prayer for my kiddos, if you will!  The high school years can be rough.  Also, this mama's heart can use some prayer for comfort as well.  

Happy 14th Birthday!

 I had a moment on this Saturday evening to add a little updated post on what has been going on in the last few days.  

First off, yesterday our Brianna turned 14 years old.  It was a simple day, most of which was spent at home aside from a girls trip to the mall in the morning, cross-country practice in the afternoon and Taco Bell for dinner.  Yes, she picked Taco Bell.  She had also asked to get her hair highlighted, which we did a few days earlier.  It's really hard to tell in these pictures but she does have some blonde added to her  hair.  

What can I say about Brianna?  Well, while she may be small in stature she has a pretty big personality.  Or should I say attitude?  Oh my!  She's definitely been my greatest challenge and it's probably because in a lot of ways she's just like me.  That's not to say I don't enjoy being around her.  She makes a great shopping buddy and doesn't mind snuggling up with me to watch something on television.  I'm envious of her in many ways because she isn't afraid of being herself and also stands her ground when it comes to her belief in God.  While some girls are into all the popular things she's quite content in her own style.  

Today we packed a picnic lunch and met my parents at a park near their house.  It was a nice few hours with my parents.  I failed to snap a picture of them but I did take a picture of someone we adopted for the afternoon.  

My son kept feeding him chips and he enjoyed every bite.  I'm not quite sure if squirrels can have potato chips but this little buddy was enjoying the feast.  When my parents left we headed to the mall next to the park in an attempt to do some last minute back to school shopping.  My children are so difficult to shop with because they can't seem to find anything they like.  My daughter did leave with a few new tops.  

Now we are home and going to enjoy the rest of the evening relaxing.  Nothing beats being at home.  Tomorrow will be church and getting things ready for the first day of school on Monday.  I have another week before I start back at my job.  I'm trying to hang onto the last moments of summer vacation we have left.  

One More Week

Well, we have made it to the last week of summer vacation.  Cross country practice has officially started for the kids and also band rehearsals.  If you haven't noticed my kids like to be busy.  Both of their school schedules came today and they seem eager to start the year.  I get my van schedule on Thursday during my meeting.  Tonight my daughter goes in for high school orientation.  It's all happening so fast.  

The week will end with my daughter's 14th birthday.  Then will be my dad's 78th birthday over the weekend so I'm planning some things for him.  On Saturday my oldest sister and her husband came to visit them from New York so I went over to see them.  It was nice to see them but it's also not easy.  My family are loud, vulgar, judgmental and have views about things that are oppositive of mine.  This makes it difficult being around them but I do try.  I leave my parents' house with a tension headache and regret of not standing up for myself.  All I want is peace.  I no longer want to focus on the past, as my father always seems to do, and I just want to live a life honoring God and focusing on my own little family, which already has it's own little challenges.  

With the school year beginning will come a set routine again.  Every day will be busy and I'll be glad to start making money again.  I'm going to embrace these last few slower paced days and try not to think too much about what's to come.  The introverted me got used to not having a routine.  

I'll end with the picture I took this morning of another butterfly on my lavender butterfly bush.  I'm not sure it's true but I heard the Monarchs will soon be extinct.  I hope not.  We need more of this beauty in the world.  

Summer With A Purpose

 Good morning, friends!

We are in the final stretch of summer vacation and in two weeks my kids will be back to school.  Summer started off slow and I was embracing how much time we had and then, just like that, we are in the last two weeks and everything seems to be hitting us at once.  My kids are at band camp this week; which means 10 hours each day of learning footwork and music under the blistering sun.  It's day 3 and my son is ready to be done.  My daughter seems to be enjoying it.  I'm glad they are doing something together.  As they are at school I'm attempting to get as much housework done as possible.  Yesterday I was supposed to have my mammogram but it was cancelled and I need to reschedule.  Ugh!  I was really hoping to get that over with.  So, once I get my work schedule for the school van I'll proceed with rescheduling so it doesn't interfere with when I'm supposed to be on the road.  Today I have to pick my son up from band camp and take him to another location for pictures the newspaper is taking for cross country and then back to band camp.  My parents wanted to stop by after.  

It's been busy!  Too busy!

Next Monday my daughter goes in for freshman orientation and they both will have the official start of cross country practice every day.  Then the following week is back to school.  Summer vacation went by in a blur but I'm thankful for this time we've been able to kick back and relax.  We had one vacation to the beach, a very special concert in Hershey and last Saturday took a trip to Baltimore to watch the Savannah Bananas play some baseball.  Have you ever heard of the Savanna Bananas?  I'd say, they are like the Harlem Globetrotters of baseball.  A lot of dancing, back flip catches and even one guy who pitches on stilts.  If only all baseball was that entertaining!

A big part of this summer was watching as my children's faith grew immensity.  After they spent one week in June at church camp I have noticed a big change in their commitment to God.  My son has been spending every night before bed reading Scripture and taking notes.  He feels as though God is preparing him for some type of ministry.  Our church developed a calendar filled with events for this summer and called it Summer With a Purpose.  I definitely do believe our summer did have purpose when it came to drawing closer to God.  I'm grateful for that.  

On This Date

 12 years ago!  Can we please go back?  When my kids were little and parenting for me was fresh.  My kids were easy going and went along with everything, cheerfully embracing every experience with excited eyes and big smiles.  

Sandy Point Beach, Maryland.  Laughing as the waves from the Chesapeake Bay crashed onto their feet.  The thrill of how they can turn sand into sandcastles and other fun shapes.  Picking up seashells as if they found treasure.  Oh, yes, take me back to simpler days.  

One thing I love about Facebook is the "Memories" feature where I can see what I posted in previous years.  

That long bridge you see in the background is the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.  We went across that a few weeks ago on our way to Chincoteague, Virginia.  4 miles of my husband having his hands tightly embracing the wheel as we silently prayed our way to safety.  I'd say it's much better to look at from afar than to be on.  Whew!

I laughed, smiled and then felt a lot of aching and longing for those days back when looking at these pictures.  

Senior Picture Day

 Every one of my children's milestones have always left me with a mix of pride and heartbreak.  Watching as they grow up is part of life but why does it hurt so much?  Parenting is so bittersweet.  

This milestone seems to feel more bitter than sweet.  It's the last one of my son's childhood.  SENIOR YEAR!  He's excited for it but I'm an emotional wreck.  

This morning he went in for his senior pictures.  One casual, one formal for the yearbook and then the cap and gown.  That's the moment it all felt so real.  I can remember that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach when it came to preparing him for kindergarten.  Now, here we are into the 12th grade year where he's trying to figure out what college to attend, what major to study and how he's going to afford to do it all.  

Not only will he be a senior but my daughter will be starting her high school journey as a freshman.  Just a heads up, prepare for many upcoming emotional blog posts from me.  

You may be growing up, Matthew, but you'll always be my little boy.  

Waiting for the bus on the first day of kindergarten.

"You Reap What You Sow"

 The apostle Paul knew what he was talking about when he gave wisdom to the Galatian church by saying, "Whatever one sows, that will he also reap."  (Galatians 6:7)  

In the context of gardening, I decided to take a shortcut this year.  What I mean is, I did not use fertilizer, and I did not plant as many tomato plants as I usually do.  I did not plant marigolds around the plants, which keeps the aphids from attacking and I have not been consistent with pulling weeds.  I could have and should have done better.  I've been getting some grape tomatoes but there has not been one big tomato in site.  

Some green beans have sprouted and came to full size but some of those plants were eaten away by some critter.  

I've seen plenty of peppers but some of them are beginning to rot before turning the red color they are supposed to be.  

I dream of having a big garden filled with lots of vegetables.  I also dream of having land for chickens and other livestock and even some goats for entertainment purposes but that all may just be a pipe dream.  How cool would it be to be able to have our resources of consumption right on my own land.  I envy those that have the patience, time and skills to do so.  In today's economy it becomes so helpful to grow our own food.  How great it could have been if I had that passion and commitment from the very beginning of being a homeowner.  I'm not sure if I ever will.  In life, I've certainly been reaping what I've sown and it's not very much and it's not all good.  But it certainly is something to learn from.    

Random Things Of This Week

 

Rescued this Praying Mantis who tried coming into my house.  

Spotted a visitor on our Lavender Butterfly Bush.  

Enjoyed spectating a fun and competitive game of kickball my husband and kids played with the church family after Sunday service.  

I love when this pup lays her head on the pillow in such a humanly way.