Answered Prayer

 "Lord, every morning you hear my voice.  Every morning I tell you what I need, and I wait for your answer," -- Psalm 5:3

    This verse was in my Jesus First For Women devotional and it made me think of a specific time I had prayed for something, and even though it took quite a few frustrating years, it was answered in a way I'm so thankful for.  

I believe whatever we deal with becomes part of our testimony.  I've been witnessing how my son's struggles are turning him into a young man God is going to use for good.  As he's entering his senior year of high school and just months away from turning 18 he's been focused on what college to attend and what major to study as he envisions what his future as a man is going to look like.  It's a very challenging, confusing and overwhelming time for anyone of his age and with these decisions he's been focusing on building a relationship with God and allowing Him to lead the way.  Since coming home from church camp, I've seen such a difference in his attitude and his ambition.  Every night he studies the Bible, pushes us out the door when it's time to go to church and has even been excited to attend the extra church services and Wednesday night Bible study/youth group they have.  Last Wednesday night he joined the pastor and some other members of the church to do some door knocking, inviting people to attend this Sunday's patriotic service.  He's spent several months searching for the perfect college to attend while getting a degree in forensics where he can also run cross country but in just the last few weeks I can see a call he's receiving to serve in ministry.  I'm excited to see where he goes with this.  

For Matthew, things haven't been so easy.  Since being a very small boy he was always very shy and had an issue with his speech, not being able to properly say anything with the letter C, S or TH.  After receiving speech therapy and wearing braces it seems to still be a struggle.  Then, at the start of middle school, where we were coming out of the Covid lock-down, he began getting terrible headaches and motor tics.  Every day when I'd pick him up from school he would tell me how hard it was for him to get through the day.  We made the choice to allow him to do school from a quiet, peaceful home while attending a neurologist and trying to figure out what was going on.  The testing showed nothing, every medicine tried ended up failing and my poor boy was suffering.  I can admit, I was getting frustrated through it all and did not always properly handle myself at times.  My baby was suffering and I was not okay with that.  In those days I prayed hard.  I even yelled and screamed at God, asking how he could allow such a thing to happen to such a precious, innocent child.  When he entered high school we wanted him to go back to in person so he could have some normalcy, hoping that the migraines would have settled by then.  Both 9th and 10th grade was difficult for him and most days it was a struggle to get him out of bed.  Both years he made it through the first half of the year but by the second half we allowed him to work from home through their cyber school.  Their cyber school is awful and it only made things more stressful for him.  My angry shouts to God continued and so did endless tears.  I believed it would have been better for him to just be at home learning in the quiet of the house but there were pressure from others to keep him in school, where he needed to learn how to navigate through the noise.  I felt bad, it was awful, but I kept encouraging him the best I could.  I also kept praying, even when my prayers to God were filled with those shouts of anger.  He understood.  Then came 11th grade and my son found an interest in running as he joined the cross country team.  He also told me he wanted to join the marching band, which was confusing to me because being in the band meant dealing with noise.  But something very strange and wonderful happened suddenly.  His migraines went away.  He went to school every day and completed the year, being one of the best on his cross country and track team.  His grades went up and he even began coming out of that shy shell he was living in for so long.  I still have yet to understand why he went through that kind of pain but now I can see how he's been delivered from it and I am so thankful.  I'm also understanding why the push to keep him in school was happening.  God is using all of this to make Matthew into the man he is to become.  

I am grateful for answered prayers, even if it comes in a way I wouldn't have preferred.  God knows better.