Turning 45

 My days have been busy but before I get started on today's chores I wanted to update on my birthday that was last Sunday.  I turned 45.  Four and a half decades of life.  45 trips around the sun.  It's been quite a ride filled with many ups and plenty of downs.  I thank God for it all!

On Saturday my husband planned a surprise trip to Baltimore.  We haven't been to Baltimore since our son was a toddler and my daughter never went.  We started with a big surprise, which I was kind of thinking was happening but didn't want to say anything out loud.  We all like watching baking shows and one of our favorites is Kids Baking Championship and Buddy vs Duff.  So he took us to Duff Goldman's bakery called Charm City Cakes.  Duff wasn't there, of course as expected, but it was pretty cool to see replicas of the cakes he had made on his shows and we also got to bite into some delicious cupcakes.  I picked chocolate with cookies and cream frosting and it was the best I've ever tasted.  

We weren't allowed to eat inside the bakery so took it in the car.  I failed at taking a picture of my cupcake.  You'll just have to believe me when I saw it was deeeeeelicious!

Then we took a drive to the inner harbor.  The parking garage spiked my anxiety - I cannot stand being in closed in spaces and places where I do not see or know the exit.  My complaining and panicking caused the rest of the family to be frustrated and I feel bad because it definitely caused a lot of grief to the day.  There's so much about myself that needs to work on because it does affect my kids.  Despite that, we had an enjoyable day.  I may not have done the best at showing it but I'm grateful for the day my husband planned out for us.  We ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe before heading home.  

On Sunday, my actual birthday, we sat in the cold for my son's double-header.  They lost one game and tied the other.  We went home and my husband and daughter made a delicious steak dinner and I opened my gifts.  A few Halloween decorations, Lauren Daigle's new CD and some homemade cards from my girl.  

I am grateful!

The last few weeks have been filled with difficult things.  My depression has been kicking my butt.  My anxiety has been high.  But I'm finally feeling myself getting up again. My focus is coming back.  I'm getting there again.  No matter what I'm facing or feeling, I am grateful!

Here's to year 45!  Only 5 years to mid-life so I'm going to make these next 5 years count.