Life Lately

 No matter how busy life gets I always try to make it a point to jump on this little blog of mine to update on things that are going on.  It's nice to have a place to look back on, I just wish I could have only kept one spot that had been consistent through the beginning of marriage.  It all started on Xanga and I had posts filled with memories of the start of being a wife to the time of bringing my first baby in the world into toddlerhood before the page shut down.  Then I gave Wordpress a try but did not like it.  Then moved to Blogger where I had one page and then after a few years created a new one, this one.  I was going to keep the other one and use this for more formal, impersonal writing but I ended up using this just as I did the other one.  So, there you go.  Either from an issue out of my control or just in my indecisive stubbornness I haven't been able to keep just one blog for all the memories.  

This will be it, though.  I'm not moving on again.  I grew tired of change.

And speaking of change, the seasons of motherhood are never the same and I struggle with that.  I have an eighteen year old and a fourteen year old and those teenage years have been nothing short of tough and frustrating.  I enjoy them, still, and there are many reasons to be proud but it's also so exhausting at the same time.  My son has one more month of school and he has a lot to do and he's struggling to stay motivated.  We try to push him to help stay on course but then he just gets frustrated with us.  Now that he's eighteen he just wants to be an adult and treated as such but he has to show the maturity first.  He's still under our roof.  It's difficult to know when to let go and when to hold on.  The fourteen year old has been struggling in her first year of high school.  She has a heart that's sweet and gentle and it breaks very easily.  Some kids in school pick on her.  She quit dance and wanted to do more school related activities but she's been struggling to succeed in those things.  I'm proud of her, nonetheless, but her attitude has been very discouraging and I feel as though I don't have enough strength inside of me to keep going with her but I love her too much to give up on her.  That's just a glimpse at the difficult things going on in my life.  

And the week started with a dental appointment.  I already have anxiety about the dentist and I changed to a new one, which made me even more anxious but the change was necessary.  I need to have work done.  Very expensive, out of pocket work.  Ugh!  I'm going to put it off for as long as I can.  I'm not dealing with any pain so I'll hang on for now.  

Tuesday was senior recognition night at the track meet and the last time our Matthew will be running on his high school track.  It was a bittersweet feeling.  This is just his second year running track.  He spent years playing baseball but suddenly found a love for running and he's really good at it.  He went from spending most of his time on the bench at baseball to coming in first or second place in running.  I don't know how he does it but I am proud.  He'll be continuing running cross country and track in college.  

He also made a great group of friends from running and it warmed my heart to hear them all screaming his name when it was his turn for the recognition.  Even in these moments of trying to help him get by, I am confident that he will do well in life.  

Today the sun is shining and the temperatures are hitting the mid 70's.  There is a lot to be done inside and outside so maybe sitting here typing this up is a waste of time ... but it's great for my mind.  I also hope that whatever I say, or have said, or will say in the future will be an encouragement to others in some way.  That's why I'm here.  

Now onto those chores ... 

Don't Chase After Bees

Hello on this beautiful April day!  After my morning school van run I spent some time sitting on the back deck listening to my Bible app and watching as this dog of mine tried catching a bee.  I warned her that it wasn't a good idea but do dogs really listen?

This week has been in the mid to upper 80's and I do enjoy it.  Strange for April but I'll take it.  By Sunday it will be back to the 50s.  

I'm letting my indoor herb garden get some time outside under the real sun, instead of the plant light we have set up in the dining room.  Earlier today I did some research on why the mint plants aren't smelling minty and discovered it could be too much water, not enough water, too much sun, not enough sun.  Ah!  I've been trying to turn my black thumb into a green thumb because I really do like plants.  The basil has grown beautifully and we use it a lot.  The oregano isn't quite ready yet and, like I said, the mint isn't minting.  I think I'm going to move it to a bigger pot, add some good fertilization and see if I can get it to where it needs to be.  Planting takes skill and it's a learning experience.  I'm proud of myself for achieving what I have so far.  

It's Friday and I'm grateful to have made it through another week.  April is flying by just like the months before.  

I'll end it here, just wanted to write a quick hello.  Enjoy the weekend!  God bless you all!

Wednesday Hodgepodge

1. Big week in the US of A...do you do your own taxes? What's something you've found 'taxing' lately? 

Lucky for me, I married an accountant and he handles our taxes.  

~A throwback to our first tax year as parents~

Something I find taxing lately?  I think just simply trying to be a mother of two teenagers.  Actually, one is now eighteen with the attitude that he's an adult and doesn't have to listen to us.  So, I'm trying to figure out the best way to love him and guide him but not be too much, if that makes sense.  My daughter is 14 and she's so loveable and kind but she's been dealing with a lot of anxiety and possibly depression.  We started her in therapy in hopes that it will help guide her through those feelings and get to the source of what is causing it all.  I believe it's more than just being a teenage girl, which is already tough.  It's a challenge but I know just like those days of handling a newborn, a toddler and a child, this is a stage that will pass.  

2. When it comes to travel are you a last minute packer or a lay it all out a week in advance type? Do you struggle to pack light? Share a packing tip that has worked for you. 

I'm not high maintenance so I never feel a need to pack a lot for myself.  Just the essentials.  I'll keep a note of what I need and then pack the day before.  The best advice I can give, is to keep a note of all the things you'll need to bring with you then you can check it off as you pack it.  

3. April is National Grilled Cheese Month. Hmmm...who knew it got its own month? Do you like a grilled cheese sandwich? What ingredient do you add to take yours to the next level? 

Yes, I do love grilled cheese.  I just do a basic butter the bread, add the cheese and some ham and cook.  I might add a little sprinkle of seasoning like Italian seasoning or basil.  

4. There's a well known quote that says-

'A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." John A. Shedd  

Is constant growth necessary or do you think it's more important to prioritize stability and peace in your life? 

If we are talking about spiritual growth or mental growth I do feel it is important to keep trying to improve and move forward with learning more and being better.  As far as chasing success, I don't really care too much about that.  I'd rather have my peace.  The only thing I'm chasing after is heaven.  

5. Let's wrap this up with a fun spring this or that-

• daffodils or tulips - Can I say both?
• lemonade or iced tea -both again
• gardening or hiking - gardening for peace and hiking for adventure (love to do both)
• ladybugs or butterflies  -both 
• umbrella or raincoat -umbrella
• floral patterns or polka dots - floral 

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I am grateful that the warm weather is here in my part of the country.  It's actually going to be in the 80's today and possibly up to the 90's tomorrow.  July weather in April but I love, love, love it!  

Thank you, Joyce!

Day 100

 Did you know that this is the 100th day of the year.  I only realized that because it said so on my Bible reading in a year app.  

My word for this year has been DETERMINED and I've been silently successful in that.  I say silently because this blog is the only place I share my word of the year.  It's not discussed in my home or with friends.  No reason for that, it's just something that's between me and God and shared on this blog for the sake of remembrance and reflection.  Have I been successful at staying determined?  I'd say slightly so.  I've been determined to get better in my faith, in my commitment to family, and to getting healthier.  As for my health I've let it slip but I'm getting right back up.  I may have added a few extra pounds since the beginning of the year but it's not the end.  For me, it's not about the numbers on the scale, it's about trying to prevent those generational curses.  It's about learning how to protect the body that God has given to me while I live on this earth.  Ugh, it's not easy.  Not easy at all.  But I'm determined.  

It's also National Siblings Day!  I already wrote about them briefly on Wednesday but here's another picture.  The one from Christmas of 2019.  The last time I was on Long Island for my sister's Christmas Eve family party.  I'm grateful for them and I pray for them.  I'm the youngest and was always known to be very different from them.  My sisters were always the stylish ones surrounded by a ton of friends.  My brother has always been the chill one.  I'm the weirdo of the bunch and that's okay with me.  

It's a nice spring day outside, reaching the mid 70's today.  I may go out and pull some weeds and maybe get started on the lawn mowing, the first one for this year.  My mind is prepping for next month's gardening and I cannot wait for that.  

I stepped outside and caught the dog and her muddy paws sunbathing on the deck.  She's a silly one.  A perfect match for my weirdness, for sure.  

Enjoy the weekend, my friends!  Wishing you many, many blessings!

G It's the Hodgepodge

I haven't been consistent with this but here we go!  Joining in with Joyce at From This Side Of The Pond  Grateful to have found something that helps keep this blog going.  

1. Egg on your face, putting all your eggs in one basket, a good egg, walk on eggshells, nest egg, or a tough egg to crack...which eggy idiom currently applies to your life in some way? Explain

Hmm?  I could say I can relate to all of those expressions.  Depending on the moment.  

2. April 7th is National Beer Day...are you a beer drinker? If so do you have a favorite? Beer battered fish, beer bread, beer can chicken, beer brats...which one sounds good to you? Have you made any of these? 

I am not a fan of beer.  Growing up my family were always Budweiser kind of people, never do they have a get together or party without it.  I've also grown up seeing the effects of alcohol in a very negative way so it's never appealed to me much.  Although there have been times when I've met up with a friend for a drink ... pretending to like what I was tasting.  

I cannot remember ever trying anything that is made with beer.  

3. Do you have siblings? What's the best thing about being your sibling? If you don't have siblings, what would you say are the pros and cons of being an only child? 

I am the youngest of 4 - one brother and two sisters.  My brother, the oldest, is sixteen years older than me.  My sister is 14 years older than me and my next sister is 7 years older than me.  They are far apart in age from me.  My mom started young and was in her thirties when I was born.  As I was growing up they were already grown and into different things but once I became an adult it felt as though we could relate so much better to each other.  However, the sad thing is they all stayed on Long Island when we moved to Pennsylvania so we aren't close.  I do love them with all my heart.  

What's the best part about being my sibling?

I'm their prayer warrior!  

4. How do you feel about floral scents in products? Do you have a favorite?

I think the only floral scent I like is lavender.  Lavender has a pretty scent and it also helps with relaxation.  That's a win for me.  

5. What's one thing in your home that begins with the letter G that you would say is a keeper, something you'll hold on to? Tell us why. 

I guess I'll say glasses.  These were gifted to us on our wedding from my mother-in-law and they are so pretty.  We have only used them a few times on rare occasions.  It's also a miracle with my clumsiness I have yet to break any.  

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

There are two trees in the front of my yard that sit on each side of the driveway.  They were already here when we moved in and it's taken 21 years to find out what they are.  With the help of my husband showing me how to research things on my phone, by taking a picture and asking Google herself ... we discovered that these trees are Star Magnolias.  

He Is Risen

 Good morning and welcome back to another Monday.  I am sipping on my second cup of coffee, which is odd because I usually only drink one.  Today feels like a two cup day, what do you think?  

Easter is now behind us but the reminder of what Jesus did for us on the cross stays in my heart forever.  

It was a blessed day for us yesterday.  We were awake early and arrived at church as 6:00am for the sunrise service.  It was foggy and misty so we didn't see the sun but the sky did get lighter as we were there.  Watching it go from dark to light, knowing this was about the same time our Savior rose from the dead was just an amazing experience.  We sang songs and listened to the pastor give a brief message on the resurrection.  We went home for a little bit of rest and then back to church for a breakfast (in place of Sunday School) and then regular service.  

My kids played in the orchestra during the service.  My boy on the trumpet and my girl on the French horn.  They did a beautiful job.  

My parents joined us for a ham dinner at home and we ended the night painting eggs.  Well, just me and my girl painted eggs.  

I was so thankful to have time at home with family.  I'm also forever grateful and blessed for the gift of Salvation.  Thank you, Jesus! 

It's Not Just April Fools

 While everyone is all about pranking each other today, I'm thinking of my grandma on her birthday and it's no joke that I miss her terribly.  Growing up she was indeed my second mother and best friend, or "best buddies" as she would say.  I am not sure if I've shared these pictures on the blog before but the first one was of her holding me, the second is of us when I was in my twenties, and the other was the last time I had seen her and the only time she saw my son.  

She had left Long Island and moved to Pennsylvania with my grandpa before we made the move.  We made the move because of them.  My grandfather died first, before my son was born.  After her cancer diagnosis, my grandma moved in with my aunt in Connecticut for awhile and then spent the end of her life back on Long Island with my other aunt.  I didn't get to say goodbye.  I knew her time was coming and the phone call from my dad that she had passed was not a shock.  

In my childhood she was my rock.  She was the one I went to for advice and we always hung out together.  I wish she lived long enough to have met both of my children and they would have had a chance to know her.  She was the kind of person who would tell you exactly how she felt, even if it hurt, but she could get away with it.  She also gave the best hugs.  I miss her.  I miss her so much.