I look at these two little ones with a heart that pangs with feelings of missing them just like this. When they were sweet and innocent, unaware that the big world around them was filled with heartbreaks and challenges. Before they experienced bullies who took away their joy and before worrying about knowing all the information to pass the next test. When imagination ran wild while playing with either dolls and trucks. When our days were spent borrowing books from the library and playing at the park. When the hugs and "I love you, Mommy" were constant.
The lady behind the camera was someone who promised she'd be the kind of mother who brought unconditional love and peace in her home instead of the chaos she grew up in. She wanted nothing more than to create an environment in the home where they experienced kindness and felt comfort. She did okay with it but also made plenty of mistakes and finds herself currently consumed with thoughts of all those mistakes with wishes of being able to go back and have another try.
Unfortunately, I can't go back. God did not design life to be that way. I hope one day these two can look back on their lives and know that their mother tried, really, really tried. And I hope they succeed at doing so much better than I ever could in their own lives and with their children.
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