My brother and sisters are a lot older than I am. My brother was married and having children while I was still a toddler, my oldest sister was married when I was in second grade and my other sister graduated high school when I was still playing with dolls and using my imagination. Then I entered junior high and was allowed to wear makeup and hang out with friends at the mall and movies without adult supervision. I was finally feeling like I was growing up. I enjoyed school and was getting A's and B's. My best friend was Merissa, who on the first day of 7th grade looked at me and said, "hey, do you want to be my best friend?" We spent a lot of time together either at my house or hers or walking around the mall or seeing the latest movie. It was definitely a great year and I was looking forward to moving up to 8th grade with my friends and then heading to high school and graduate from the same high school my brother and sisters did. In my mind I thought I was going to stay in the same house until I was ready to leave it. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
New York is expensive, money was tight. My parents put all their money into a business that didn't work out. My dad, a retired police officer, worked as a car salesman and my mom had her own house cleaning business, but none of that was enough to make ends meet. My grandparents lived with us and moved to Pennsylvania so my grandma could be close to her sister, my Great Aunt Alice. After my parents visited them they decided it was best for us to move there too. It was a much cheaper state. My parents could sell the house, buy a house here without having a mortgage, still need to work but could relax. The first family who looked at the house decided to buy it. So, with my brother-in-law driving the moving van and with me in the backseat of our Oldsmobile Calais with our Boston Terrier we were on our way to our new life in Lancaster, PA.
I hated it. I absolutely hated it. We spent a few months in an apartment and I started 8th grade in a middle school filled with snobs. I did make a handful of friends but everyone looked at me as if I was an alien from another planet. People weren't so kind to New Yorkers around here. Some people easily adjust to moving. I didn't. Then when we found a house and moved in I had to change school districts. I hated that too. Again, I made some friends, but I also experienced many hard things.
It wasn't all that bad but it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be on Long Island with my friends and my family. I felt robbed. That led to years of depression and suicidal thoughts.
Now, 27 years later, I focus more on the positives. I've met a lot of great people here. If I hadn't lived here I wouldn't have met my husband and we wouldn't have brought our two children into the world. I do believe they were brought into this world for a reason. Whatever the reason, God has a plan for them. If all I went through was only to bring them into the world then I am grateful for the experiences.
I also realize that being out of Long Island means no beaches but we do have this view of the Susquehanna River.
These photos were taken while my son and I were hiking together.
I truly believe that life is what we make it. I wish I could have realized that 27 years ago. When I go back to Long Island it doesn't feel like my home anymore but it wasn't meant to be my home. Also, home doesn't have to be the place where you were born. Anywhere can be made a home. It's sad to know we aren't close enough to family where my kids can be with their cousins. That's one of the many things we miss out on. We have each other though and that's enough. I'm thankful for that.
We've traveled to many places and many states but when I go back to Long Island I feel a little disgusted as to how run down it's become. I'm glad I left it. If I stayed until adulthood I probably would have left it anyway. A lot of people have. I only wish that my attitude was different as a teenager here in PA. I hated it here, refused to see the good in it. Now at 40 years old I see things differently and with a better perspective. My only regret now is not having a better attitude from the very beginning of the move. I can't change the past but I can only be better from here on out.
Thank you God for almost three decades in this beautiful state. I'm done taking it for granted.
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