A Beach Trip and A Birthday

 The last time I wrote I was struggling very badly.  The point of my blog is not only to practice writing but to share my experiences, both good and bad.  I'm real and honest, opened to share my vulnerability, because who knows who is reading this that may feel they are alone in their own battles.  My depression is always there; sometimes it hides behind a smile and some laughter, but it's a struggle I deal with every moment of every day.  Some days I'm good at pushing it on the back burner as I go through the motions of the day and other times I just can't focus at all.  Lately, I've lost that focus completely and the desire to do anything.  I knew I couldn't keep going on that way, especially with being a mother, so I called my doctor and went back on medicine.  I'm feeling better, at least enough to get through the days.  

I'm not going to keep focused on that, though.  Now onto happier things.  

Last Thursday we took a day trip to a beach along the Chesapeake Bay.  We've been to this beach a few times before and it's only a two hour drive for us so it's easy to make it a day trip.  As we drove the rain started pouring down and I felt such nervousness about continuing the journey.  I tried to convince my husband to turn around because according to the radar on my phone the rain was going to hit Maryland all day.  He insisted we keep going and make the best of it.  I kept checking my phone to see if the radar was changing and also the beach's website to see if they were going to close as I silently prayed that God could allow a good day for us.  Later I found out my husband and both kids were also praying at the same time ... and God eventually listened.  When we arrived at the beach it was still raining and the guy at the gate said the sand and water area was closed but we could still go in and wait it out.  We sat in the car and ate our picnic lunch and watched as the rain got lighter.  The beach opened and we headed to the sand.  It was still drizzling but we had fun walking along the shore, dipping our feet into the water and being careful of all the jellyfish that passed by.  We were the only ones on the beach for a long time.  Eventually the rain stopped and some people came but it wasn't packed and we were able to stay distant from others.  It turned out to be a great day.  

My daughter just celebrated her ninth birthday over the weekend.  The years are flying by and I'm so afraid if I blink I'm going to miss out on something.  She's a strong and feisty one, who knows what she wants and demands she gets it.  She's also super sweet and affectionate and is always asking me to snuggle with her.  She's a mini version of myself but I truly hope that she goes further in life than I could have ever imagined.  She's going into the fourth grade and feeling nervous about moving up to a grade that will be more challenging.  Academically she struggles and always needs a push to get motivated but I know she's going to do great things with her future.  Getting ready to start her sixth year of dance she is now in what they call the "performance division" and is also in her first year of competitive dance.  We'll see how that goes.  The start of the school and dance year is going to look a lot different than what we're used to, thanks Covid, but we will embrace the changes and do what we can to make sure she stays on track with everything.  I'm so blessed to have this little girl in my life and what an honor it has been to be her mother.  

We weren't planning to have a party for her this year but she wanted one.  She understood the importance of keeping it small so she only invited three friends.  The rain kept us inside but she had a blast and loved the company and all of the gifts.  Here's to an amazing ninth year, Princess!