First Time College Mom

 "They grow up fast!"

I've heard that so much in these eighteen years of raising kids.  I've felt it too.  I remember putting Matthew on the school bus for the first day of kindergarten and aching to have the little baby back.  I remember helping to get him settled into a new routine of middle school and aching for that little baby back.  Then when it came time for high school, the aching felt a lot more intense.  By graduation, it hurt more.  

But nothing, NOTHING, had ever felt more excruciating than this.  

We spend 18 years teaching our children how to be independent and self-sufficient adults and when that time comes it feels like a gut punch.  I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I did not expect just how much it would hurt.  Then again, I know that it is time.  He's ready.  I cannot hold on forever.  You know, that umbilical cord needs cut at some point.  He's going to do just fine and I'm going to continue being proud of the man he's destined to become.  

I love being a mom and if we can be honest I loved being a mom to little ones.  I miss the little ones.  The teenage years and young adult years have been quite trying for me.  Some mothers ease into each stage just fine but I am struggling.  Yet I know, it's all going to be okay.  

So, there he is - my theology major.  The biggest part of my heart.  Always.