I Felt The Need To Say It (My Thoughts On The Current Times)

 I desire to make my home a place of peace and a safe space away from the outside world.  I want my blog to hold the same feeling.  Sometimes most of the time it's just difficult.  If you've been paying attention, American politics right now is ... I'm lacking a proper word for it ... out of control.  One candidate was nearly assassinated and the other candidate, currently president, decided to drop out of the race.  It had been a nail-biter trying to figure out who the replacement will be, although I think most of us already had the idea.  It's a mess.  If you're outside of America looking in I imagine you are shaking your head wondering how a country known as the "free world" can become so reckless and disgraceful.  Our country is so divided and people have stopped becoming friends with each other over different views.  It's sad.  In my post about President Trump I lost a follower.  I'm not upset about it.  I think it's sad that people want to dismiss us only because we think differently.  America is supposed to be about freedom and it feels like we are quickly spiraling away from that.  I'm sure you are someone who just doesn't want to hear about it and I understand.  I wish I did not care so much.  I've been surrounded by the talk of politics my entire life.  My father so adamantly watches the news and expresses his feelings either in a newspaper editorial, an email to family and friends, or during every conversation we have with each other.  He taught me the importance of standing up for what I believe in and he taught me that it's the politics that keeps our country from either continuing our freedom or deteriorating from it, so we have to stay tuned in.  My son has started becoming very actively interested in politics, too.  He is always telling us something he learned or asks questions on what we think.  It's constant.  It's everywhere.  And it's getting scary.  

But I'm not letting any of it control me.  You see, as much as I believe in the importance of our government I also believe we have a God more superior to anyone who holds office.  He has a plan and has it all figured out from beginning to end.  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," -- Jeremiah 29:11.  My trust is not in President Trump, President Biden or anyone in a pants suit.  It's in Jesus Christ.  However, it's still imperative that we stay informed and do whatever possible to make sure we stay on track.  I know posting my thoughts on the blogosphere isn't going to do anything to fix the problems but maybe it will help encourage someone in some way.  Or maybe you started reading, realizing this was going to get political and didn't continue on.  That's okay, too.  I love having a platform to share whatever is going on in this head of mine.  Also, it's nice to have a place where years from now I can look back and read while thinking wow we really went through that?  

We are living in such uncertain times right now but it's always been that way.  If you are paying close attention to what is going on and feel any level of anxiousness I encourage you to read the Bible.  Scripture has a way of filling me with comfort.  My Christian friends, I ask you to join me in prayer because as it says in the Word, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them." -- Matthew 18:20.  And lastly, "and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -- 2 Chronicals 7:14.  Our nation needs healing.  

God, please comfort our hearts and our minds  Heal our country and this world.  Help us move in a direction that is in Your will.  Father, I thank You for the many blessings You have given us and I ask that You deliver us from the wickedness of sin and help keep our eyes focused on You and You alone.  In Jesus name, I pray -- Amen!    

Random July Moments

 I have a very small vegetable garden with different types of tomatoes and red lunchbox peppers.   I water diligently but the hot summer heat is killing the leaves.  Thankfully, we are getting plenty of veggies (oh wait, tomatoes are classified as fruit).  Picture also includes a husky tail.  

Using some of the delicious garden cherry tomatoes in a salad.  

Attempting a game night usually ends with us being frustrated with each other but I do enjoy the family time.  

Bri enjoyed dance camp and seemed to fit right into place at the new company. 

Don't leave a husky home alone.  She chewed up my magazine.  

One of my favorite hobbies is diamond art.  There is a store at the mall that sold a set of 4 Mario themed diamond art for $6.  First one complete.  

While sitting in the car waiting for cross-country practice to finish might as well read the Bible.  

Have a blessed Wednesday, my friends!  

I Want(ed) To Be A Runner

 But I'm not.  

Years ago I had this idea of starting a running routine to train for a 5k (3.1 miles).   As soon as my sneakers hit the pavement the realization that I'm not a runner set in.  It was hard.  I couldn't get my breathing correctly and my legs felt as if they were giving out.  I tried to pace myself; walk for most of it and then add more running each time.  It was useless and I stopped.  Another dream of mine that quickly went to the wasteland.  

Now my son, who hasn't done much running in his sixteen years of life, decided to join the cross-country team.  His stamina is amazing.   He showed up for his first practice and blew everyone away.  Then came the dreaded words, "Mom, do a 5k with me.  Let's do the Turkey Trot this year."

If you haven't heard of the Turkey Trot it's a 5k on Thanksgiving morning.   4 months away.  My husband cheers me on and is filled with confidence I can do it.   I know he means well and I appreciate his confidence in me but the more I hear him pushing the further my mind goes from wanting to do it.  My dad used to hassle my mom about her weight but his words only sunk her further into depression.   It's the same for me.  

I joined my son and his team at the rail trail on Saturday for practice.   The team was off, passing me by until they were out of site.  I walked a few feet and then began.  One foot swiftly in front of the other.  I quickly realized I was in the wrong clothes for a run.  Rule 1: don't wear khaki shorts and a cotton t-shirt.   My heavy phone in my pocket wore me down but I wanted that worship music to help me go.  I ran a little, walked more of it, ran a little more, realized my shoe got untied so I stopped to fix it, turned around, walked a little, ran a few feet, walked, then ran the last few feet.  I arrived at the car thirsty and sweaty, my vision blurry.  It was bad.  I'm just not cut out for this.

What's most frustrating is the idea of letting my son down.  He wants this for me.  My husband's words of "encouragement", especially when they are said in front of our kids, only sinks me further in the pit of disappointment.   As I sat in the car waiting for my son to return I cried.  I've never been one to accomplish goals.  {As you might know, it's taken me years just to finish one manuscript.}   I'm not competitive in nature.   I easily give up on the things I know I can't do.  I'm not just disappointing my son.  I'm disappointing myself.  

A 5k.  4 months away.  It may seem easy for you.   I'm the most unathletic person on the face of this earth.  But I've always been one to try to give my children the things they desire and, so, I guess the seriousness of training for this 3.1 miles of agony is something I must do.  Y'all pray for me!

Summer Days Are Passing By

Good morning!  I'm awake after going to bed late last night (wanted to watch the RNC) and now I'm enjoying a quiet morning with a cup of coffee while the kids are still sleeping and before another busy day begins.  I am so grateful to have met new (to me) bloggers from my last post.  Thanks Sandra for putting that together.  Once school begins and we are on a more set schedule I'd love to get back into joining in with the Happy Homemaker posts.  I really want to improve on this blog.

The summer days for us are all over the place.  Some days are slow moving while other days I'm running one kid one way and the other kid the other way.  These two just don't like to sit still while the introvert me would rather stay home.  Then there's endless piles of house cleaning that I just can't seem to get through. 

When I thought summer would be a good time for getting rearranging done I'm realizing it's probably better to do it when the kids are in school and the house is quiet and empty.  With my kids home we spend quality time just relaxing with each other or I'm busy being their chauffer.  My son has been joining in on cross-country open gym practices and he also signed up for marching band and will be starting band camp next week.  This week my daughter has dance camp with a new company we decided to move to.  The decision was one we had been wrestling with but it's going to be a good change.  Three other friends from the last studio are going too so she's not alone in it.  The mothers and dancers I've met so far are really nice and welcoming.  The last studio was very expensive and filled with drama.  I desired to take her away from it and after much prayer that's what we did.  I definitely saw God's provision through the process. 

I'm also experiencing day four with a headache.  Pain medicine has not worked.  Maybe it's the heat.  Maybe it's hormonal.  I'm just hoping it passes soon.  Oh, the heat.  It's been over 100° in the last several days.  I step outside and feel like I've been stuck in an oven.  Within minutes my face fills with unpleasant sweat.  I've always loved summer but the older I get the more eager I am for those cooler temperatures.  

The remaining weeks of summer vacation are filled with so much activity and will continue going by fast and there is only one more month left until school begins again.  My son made a comment last night that every year for him seems to be going faster.  I told him wait until he has children then it will all pass with just a blink.  I'm grateful for every moment.  

"Old Fashioned Blogger - Say Hi"

I have been following Sandra from Diary of A Stay At Home Mom for years.  On my previous blog (A Little Bit of Sunshine) I would often participate in her Happy Homemaker Monday posts.  When I moved over here I stopped but I continued to follow her.  In fact, once I started Blogger she was the first other Blogger blog I found.  She is one of my favorite bloggers and I wanted to join her on a recent post where she's asking everyone else on joining her in answering a series of questions so we can meet other bloggers/get to know each other.  I don't have a lot of followers, to be honest.  Okay, here we go.  Also, please join in and make sure you add your link on her post here.   

"Old fashioned blogger - say hi!"  

1) How long have I been blogging?

I think it was the year 2002 after getting married.  My husband was working and I was off and browsing around online when I discovered a blogging site called Xanga.  I created an account and started typing random thoughts and experiences of my day and quickly met other fellow Xanga bloggers.  From the time I was a newlywed to having our first child 5 years later and probably another year or two after that I kept blogging until Xanga announced they were going to start charging their users.  I'm not sure anyone was happy about that decision and it seems Xanga had shut down completely.  I wanted to continue blogging and found myself wrestling between wanting to be on Blogger or Wordpress, but I went with Blogger.  It's not as easy finding other bloggers on here as it was on Xanga but it's been fun having place to write my thoughts.  

2) How did I choose the name of my blog?

To be honest, I've had many blogs.  The last one was called A Little Bit of Sunshine because my name is Dawn, which means sunrise.  Then I intended to create a separate blog for some more formal writing and named it Dawn Marie Writes; however, it has just been a continuation of the informal posting everyday events with an occasional more formal post about my faith or something learned as a parent and wife.  

3) What is my blog about?

A lot of this and that.  I like to update on what my kids are up to, something that has been on my heart, my faith, anything and everything.  I may do an occasional recipe, too.  

4) Tell us a little about yourself and your family?

I'm 45 years old, born on Long Island, NY and came unwillingly to Pennsylvania at almost 14 years old.  I fell hard into depression and fought a lot of suicidal thoughts for years.  In college, I accepted Jesus as my Savior and that is also where I met the man who would become my husband years later.  We have been married for 22 years and have two kids - a son that is sixteen and a daughter that will be thirteen next month.  My son will soon be starting his junior year of high school and joined the cross-country team and the marching band.  He's played baseball since age 5.  He has also been a member of the boy scouts and is very close to earning Eagle rank.  My daughter, going into 8th grade, is in chorus and band in school, and takes private violin lessons.  She's also been taking dance classes since the age of 4.  They keep us very busy.  I began working as a school van driver last year but since it's only a few hours in the morning and a few hours in the afternoon during the school year I still consider myself a homemaker, since that's what I do most of the time.  My husband works in finance for a very popular (around here) construction company and is also a treasurer on the school board.  

5) A few of my favorite things (collections, things that make me happy, etc)

As far as collection, I have a ton of rubber ducks in the downstairs bathroom.  I think the collection began randomly and unintentionally.  I also have a collection of Tweety Bird stuffed animals and most all of them were gifted from my husband starting before we were married.  

6) What do you like to do in your spare time (hobbies, crafts, etc)

I love writing and not only do here on this blog but I've also been working on a manuscript.  I also like doing jigsaw puzzles and diamond art.  I have a small garden of tomatoes and peppers.  I also like to read but don't give myself a chance to do it often - I need to get better at that.  

7) What does your dream house look like?

Something spacious with an open floor plan. A two-car garage.  A room just for exercise equipment and a room I could use as my office where I can write.  A swimming pool in the backyard for the kids would be a bonus.  Also, enough yard for goats and chickens.  

8) If you could visit anywhere, anytime, where would it be?

I would love to go to Italy.  I've always enjoyed their culture, language and cuisine.  I also think Greece would be another amazing place to visit.  Also, Ireland.  I would pick Israel because it would be great to be in the same location Jesus had once walked but ... well, that's not going to be ideal anytime soon.

9) Would you share with us a favorite homemaking/organization tip or recipe, etc?

Well, I sat here and thought about what I wanted to share but to be honest I need to tell you something that's been on my heart.  For years I've struggled with trying to keep up with a house that can very quickly become messy.  I've stressed about it.  Before the kids came along the house was always clean and bare, then came all of the toys and mess.  I know once the kids are grown and gone the house will be clean and bare again.  Until then, I can't sweat the mess.  This is a tough one for me.  

10) Tell us something about yourself that we might not already know from reading your blog (something unusual, etc).

My family knows this but I'm extremely afraid of snakes.  I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the story of Adam and Eve but those things freak me out.  I'm also afraid of closed in spaces.  

11) Tell us a way God has blessed you/your family.

In our family we have endured a lot of heartache, sickness, health issues and surgeries, also a lot of disagreements and arguing - but we make it through every time.  God blessed me with two amazing kids.  

12) Share any words of wisdom and/or favorite quote you'd like to leave us with.  

My mother always said advice is free and you don't have to take it.  That was something that helped me whenever someone would give me unsolicited advice.  I'd listen knowing that it was only their suggestion and I could do with it what I want.  

And one of my favorite verses is something that I need to remind myself of every time we are faced with evil.  "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world" -- John 16:33

Sharing A Piece Of My Heart ~ And A Fun Day Out

Our pastor spoke a message today about our need to share our Christian beliefs and helping others around us.  He spoke of our desperate need of America needing to be turned back to God.  It got me thinking about a lot of things.  How can I serve?  What is it that God wants me to do?  How controversial can I get before it becomes too much?  Oh, so many questions and waiting upon God's answers.  

When I started blogging years ago it was a way of connecting to the outside world.  It was thrilling to find a place where I could meet other people in different states and countries - places I couldn't even reach otherwise.  I also use it as a way of documenting the things that go on day to day to have something to look back on.  Also, maybe, just maybe, I might end up writing something that would be an unintended encouragement to someone else reading it.  I also want to be able to use this platform to share my heart.  I understand not everyone wants to read a blog post of someone complaining or saying something that's considered controversial.  Not many enjoy hearing about someone else's religious or political opinions, I get it.  However, when it comes to writing from my heart that can sometimes be just that: controversial.  Like with what happened yesterday with President Trump and, boy, did that leave my heart hurting.  We are a country that has pulled far from God.  We are a nation that is going downhill fast.  To me, that is no coincidence.  My heart also sometimes feels frustrated in trying to keep up with the housekeeping, or in disciplining my children and I get the urge to just write about it.  Pouring my heart down into words can be therapeutic - it always has been for me.  So, maybe, from time to time I'll write a post on things you may not care to read about but I'm going to write it anyway.  This blog is mine.  I do love meeting other people through it, having others read my words and also reading other blogs - it's quite fun!  But this blog's intention is for my heart and my purpose.  

And sometimes, it's also nice to not have to get too deep into those feelings.  It's nice to use this platform to just step away from the madness of reality.  To write about things that are uplifting and positive - we sure need that too.  If you're like me, you're surrounded by people who only want to talk politics and the controversies of the world and just want to find a place to escape it.  Could I use this blog to provide both?  Absolutely!  I can even do so in one post.  

Let's talk about our adventure into another town yesterday.  My daughter needed new ballet shoes and a leotard for her new year of dance and with not having many places around here we were told about a store that was located about forty-minutes away.  We decided to make a family day of it.  So, we went into the cute little ballet shop and purchased her needed items. Can I tell you, being a dancer is not cheap.  Afterwards, we found a small free museum across the street and decided to walk around.  I love that my kids are interested in history.  Then we decided to grab ice cream for lunch, which my daughter complained about most of the day because her root beer float was not filling enough.  We also walked through an antique mall.  We had been to the ice cream shop and antique mall before and it was fun visiting again.  Yes, my kids also enjoy antiques, too.  Then we walked around another one of our favorite places in that town - an army war college museum.  

The four of us are always busy all the time and it's nice to be able to have a day together, even when there's whining from the almost thirteen-year-old and attitude from the sixteen-year-old.  If my heart is struggling with anything right now, it's knowing how to handle the attitudes of those two.  Ugh!  I know, it will all pass one day.  Right now it feels like a battle I'm not winning.  We experienced it, again, today after church.  I needed a moment to remove myself from it as I'm now sitting on my bed typing this up.  Now, I think I'll catch up with some other fellow bloggers and just relax the rest of this hot Sunday.  

My Heart Breaks ...

 "The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." -- Deuteronomy 31:8

My prayers are with this man - a man who has fought so hard for this country, who has been so wrongly ripped apart by the mainstream media.  What happened today has left me speechless, scared, and heartbroken.  It also has me pumped for election day!  God, thank you for your protection over President Trump today.

My prayers are also with the victims - the one we now know of that was killed and for the ones who are injured.  For everyone in attendance who witnessed this heinous act.  

It's time for us, the American people, to come together and do whatever it takes to keep our country everything our Forefathers intended it to be.  

God bless you, President Trump!  You had my support then and you definitely have it now!  

Disclaimer:  Any negative comments over this issue will be removed.  My blog, my feelings!  

 

What It Used To Be

 I've been feeling a mix of gratefulness but also sorrow.  

I miss when our summer days looked like this:

And this:

And definitely this:

The kids were so little, experiencing new adventures for the first time with eyes of innocence and playing with active imagination.  Before school gave them a step towards independence.  Hearing my son's little voice tell me he loves me while giving me countless hugs (my daughter still does that, thankfully, but that too will soon come to pass).  Freely loving our time together as a family whether we were at the park, on vacation, or simply just inside the comfort of our home watching a silly kid show.  

Now the kids are into the teenage phase where they spend most of their time in their bedrooms or out with friends.  There's eye rolls and attitudes when told to do something (some of the time).  My son is deciding on colleges while my daughter is getting ready to turn 13 and begin those dreaded years of adolescence. Trying to help my daughter through her pubescent stage while helping my son prepare for adulthood in two years can feel so overwhelming. It's not all bad but it's more difficult for my heart to handle than it was when they were smaller.  While I enjoy the current version of them I am missing the younger them.  I guess this is what it means to be a parent.  I'm sure when they are adults residing elsewhere I'll miss the teen years, even though I currently feel lost in it now.  I find myself questioning if I'm doing things right.  Am I giving them enough responsibility?  Is my discipline tactics exactly as they need to be?  Feelings of frustration overpower me quite often, especially when I think they aren't listening or when I feel my husband isn't jumping in to take over when I know he should.   Also, trying so often to break up their fights while thinking back to when my son would constantly hug and kiss his baby sister.  I'm struggling with this phase but I'm also enjoying parts of it too.  

I like watching as they learn to do more things on their own.  For example, my son made his own waffles today without needing help.  Yesterday I dropped my daughter and her friend off at the movie theater and it reminded me of when my mom used to do that for me when I had turned 13.  I can get things done around the house without needing my attention constantly on them.  We can have more mature conversations together and I love listening to how they are forming their own views on things.  

I miss the moments like this with every piece of my heart:

But this is fun too: