He Provides

When my husband and I first got married we racked up our credit cards because, well, starting out in an apartment requires a lot of stuff.  We were young and probably not as smart as we should have been in our spending but my husband worked a full-time and an extra part-time job while I also worked and we did whatever we could to pay off those bills.  A few years after we purchased our house we welcomed our first child and I quit my job to stay at home.  My husband still worked a second job to help out and I was thankful to be married to someone who was so supportive, even through exhaustion.  I loved being able to be home with my kids because I didn't want to rely on anyone else to watch them, but some days felt so tough.  We had to make a lot of sacrifices.  There were times; however, when the bills didn't seem to get paid on time.  I remember the bank calling and asking why our mortgage wasn't paid for on the due date.  I allow my husband, an accountant by profession, to handle all of our finances.  Just thinking about math gives me anxiety so I was happy to let him take the reigns when it came to money.  But receiving those phone calls and not knowing what to say was frustrating.  Wondering when he was going to pay those bills and if we truly did have enough money was scary.  Nevertheless, my husband always had a way of paying the mortgage, and our other bills, even if it was a little late.  No, I don't recommend being late on the bills.  My husband was always quiet about it but there were times when I could tell he was stressed and worried if he could continue to make ends meet.  Now here we are heading towards our nineteenth year of marriage in the same house and a lot more expenses, and yet, we are still making it work.  The phone calls stopped so maybe that means the bills are being paid on time and I know it helps that I am back to working and I am very thankful.  There were some pretty dark days in our marriage when I didn't know if we would make it but sure enough, we did.  

The same is said during moments in my childhood and adolescent years that also seemed dark and scary.  I witnessed as my father struggled through alcoholism mixed with a very bad temper and in those days I wasn't sure the marriage was going to make it.  My father ended up changing his ways and has been forgiven and releived from his dark days and as I look back in what seemed like such scary moments I see how we made it through and I am thankful.  

We made it through those challenging times because God provided.  I certainly believe that.  I mentioned it in a post before but I remember being a little girl and my mom said to me through tears and a gentle hug, "Don't worry, Jesus is going to take care of us."  I have never let go of those words or the faith that she instilled in me.  

Currently, as we face this virus and all the government restrictions because of it, as we watch everything else that's unfolding in this country, I know that God is going to continue to provide.  I don't see it yet but I know He has a purpose.  Through all this chaos and uncertainty He will provide peace, comfort, assurance, and love!  

If you are feeling anxious or depressed today I want you to know that you aren't alone and have a healing God who can take that anxiety and replace it with peace.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?" -- Matthew 6:26.